I've been incredibly restless this weekend and I'm really not sure why, I feel like I need a some kind of change to happen. I want to move. I want to loose weight. I'm not sure if I want to actualy get the half-sleeve I have booked for January. I want to travel. I want to repaint my bedroom. I want my friends to understand when I decide to stay in on a Saturday night to sleep after a terriby busy week. I want to visit my random relatives in Poland. And I want an ice cream sandwich really fucking bad.
I'm letting you cyber-friends know of time that I'm sorry for this next part... just have to get it off my chest... This is by no means an attempt to get pity or "you look fine darling!" comments. It's to get it off my chest and to not have this bottled up...
I recently saw a picture of myself that was quite a disapointment. I guess I thought I looked way better than I really do? I've known that I've gained weight since last year; I'm not completely oblivious. I guess I'm just in total denial of my true appearance. I look in the mirror and see someone who looks good. And then a photo surfaces and I think "HOLY GOD! what the hell happened to me?!" (the sad part is that this particular photo was taken LAST year at Christmas!) It's been almost a full year and I know I've gained since then! It's really quite depressing. And makes me feel awfull.
My whole family is fit. My parents bike to work every day. My sister has lost a crapload of weight on WeightWatchers and has lost 60 pounds (she's now a size 2)... Here's a pic of my Dad, sister and I after we danced for the Queen last summer in Scottland. (that's Balmoral behind us)
I really don't want to spend another summer being fat. I don't want to make up excuses on our annual family ski trip when be able to keep up on the cross-country ski run.
I purchased a membership for Goodlife about a year ago with a freind because we were determined to start taking better care of ourselves. Well... that went to shit quite quickly. She's been busy with her last year of med school and I have my crappy job. I've since been paying Goodlife 30$ every 2 weeks. Almost 800 GODDAMN DOLLARS! That's 800$ I couldv'e spent paying off my car or my rent!
I think tomorrow I'm gonna try to get back into the habit of going to the gym. Shit. I'm gonna have to do something!
In lighter news.. my friend told me yesterday that she's pregnant! YAY! I feel kinda special that she told me and won't be telling anyone else until she's hit the 12 week mark. I'm so happy for them! They've been trying for about 6 months now. I'm excited that I finaly have someone to buy punk-rock baby clothes for!
I'm letting you cyber-friends know of time that I'm sorry for this next part... just have to get it off my chest... This is by no means an attempt to get pity or "you look fine darling!" comments. It's to get it off my chest and to not have this bottled up...
I recently saw a picture of myself that was quite a disapointment. I guess I thought I looked way better than I really do? I've known that I've gained weight since last year; I'm not completely oblivious. I guess I'm just in total denial of my true appearance. I look in the mirror and see someone who looks good. And then a photo surfaces and I think "HOLY GOD! what the hell happened to me?!" (the sad part is that this particular photo was taken LAST year at Christmas!) It's been almost a full year and I know I've gained since then! It's really quite depressing. And makes me feel awfull.
My whole family is fit. My parents bike to work every day. My sister has lost a crapload of weight on WeightWatchers and has lost 60 pounds (she's now a size 2)... Here's a pic of my Dad, sister and I after we danced for the Queen last summer in Scottland. (that's Balmoral behind us)
I really don't want to spend another summer being fat. I don't want to make up excuses on our annual family ski trip when be able to keep up on the cross-country ski run.
I purchased a membership for Goodlife about a year ago with a freind because we were determined to start taking better care of ourselves. Well... that went to shit quite quickly. She's been busy with her last year of med school and I have my crappy job. I've since been paying Goodlife 30$ every 2 weeks. Almost 800 GODDAMN DOLLARS! That's 800$ I couldv'e spent paying off my car or my rent!
I think tomorrow I'm gonna try to get back into the habit of going to the gym. Shit. I'm gonna have to do something!
In lighter news.. my friend told me yesterday that she's pregnant! YAY! I feel kinda special that she told me and won't be telling anyone else until she's hit the 12 week mark. I'm so happy for them! They've been trying for about 6 months now. I'm excited that I finaly have someone to buy punk-rock baby clothes for!