psycho_magnet

Respect. Its important to everyone, but in different aspects of life respect is measured by varying means. I've been reminiscing lately, and trying to get back into shape. More like trying to workout stress before I start slaughtering those around me. When I was a bouncer, I was in the gym 6 days a week. When it comes to the gym, respect is measured in plates. Nobody but you really cared how much you can bench until there was 3 plates a side, then you got noticed. The roid monkeys would stack close to five plates on each end, sit down and just squeeze out reps. Far from athletes though, they had fuck all for stamina, and couldn't last longer than a half hour in the gym. Also had issues scratching their backs.

I'm not much for the overly huge dream of bodybuilding, I prefer functional muscle, but I can't deny that training for power was always a rush for me. It's just you against the bar, nothing else matters in that moment. All the personal and professional bullshit just melts away, because see if you can't block it out, when you lift heavy you are just gonna hurt yourself.

If you can though, and just focus your mind to the task at hand and harness all the emotional garbage towards your goal, it's simply magic. I had a bad football injury, almost broke my back when I got hit by two different linemen at the same time. Took almost 2 years to rehab my back where I could lift anything without pain. The worst was restraining myself from jumping back in too soon. Eventually though I had enough weight on my deadlift that the bar bent when I lifted off the ground. I hated that bar. Hated the way it laughed at me for all those months when I only had a 25lb plate on each side. Hated what it represented, my weakness, my failure.

After I got back up to speed though, when I had loaded on those plates, and I knew that the bar was going to groan after I lifted it off the ground, well that was my big F U to it. It was the enemy and I wasn't going to let it win. In the end, it wasn't about anyone else noticing, or having bragging rights, it all came down to that stupid bar. I guess that whole time the only person I wanted respect from was myself.