psmith

I wish my account would hurry up and expire, I spend too much time sitting here at my desk, as in "real life" I cannot find people who can stand to talk to me, I offend merely by speaking. I no longer know how to interact with people offline, I thought it would be easier online. It isn't. I am wasting my time here. I have neglected the only think i was ever good at, being a student. I once was the overachiever who was accepted to 14 universities, even fancy Ivy league schools, now i can hardly comlete any task. I've always been depressed und usually never had friends, but somehow i kept going, maybe i acepted it. I wish i could return to that, I should be in grad school by now. What has the past year gotten me? Eye strain. I am still as far from being able to function as a normal human being as i ever was, but now i spend an unhealthy amount of time worrying about it. I wish i could simply return to school and do what i used to do.
The internet seemed to offer the possibility of meeting people, but the different medium cannot make of for my own failings. I am still the same miserale sod i always was, but now am consumed with self hate, and waste my time writing things like this. I wish i could go back to being that loner student who has no friends, has never had a girlfriend but wasn't an idiot. Now i am all these things and convinced of my own low intelligence, lacking the confidence to do anything. I just sit here, occasionally typing something not talking to anyone really, just typing.