girls are EVIL...
when i was in grade school, i had a small, but close group of friends. we weren't popular, but i was more or less the 'leader' of our little group. then, in fourth grade, a girl named nicole joined our circle of friends. at first it was great- we all played together, and invited each other to our birthday parties, etc. then, for some reason, it became really important to her that she turn all of my friends against me. if we were all together, she would try to hog their attention from me, talk over me, etc. behind my back, she would tell them all sorts of rotten things about me trying to get them to believe them. my friends wouldn't have any of it- they knew me much better than that. they never believed nicole when she said diabolic things about me, and they always told me how bothersome they thought it was when she acted that way, but to her face they were still nice to her and still her friend. i didn't understand that at the time- if she annoyed them so much then why not just tell her to go away? now i realize that it was a little more complicated than that. i never really understood why she became so jealous of me, though, and why she felt the need to push me out of position as 'group leader.' i'd never asked to be or instisted on being the ring leader or decision maker, that's just how it ended up in our group.
a few days ago, i was taking the purity test- not the 500 or so question long one, but the shorter one on the spark. on one of the questions, it asks you to write down the worst name you've ever called someone. the worst thing i could think of was when i called this girl geraldine a slut when i was 12. it's not b/c i couldn't think of times where i've said mean things to people, it's b/c if i really wanted to be mean, i'd do a little more than just call them a name. i'd just say somethings that i knew really pushed their buttons- things i knew that they were sensitive about and ashamed about. that's what girls do. that's how girls are mean to each other. that's how girls fight. they really get into your soul when they want to hurt you.
girls are evil, and unfortunately i'm no exception...
thank you everyone who responded to my last journal update. it's something that i've been meaning to reveal about myself for a while (especially if i wanted to meet any of you in person), but i wasn't really sure how to go about bringing it up. i finally found an opportunity the other day, and i'm SO glad i finally shared it with you. i feel much better now that you know the real me- the good, the bad, the ugly....the human me.
when i was in grade school, i had a small, but close group of friends. we weren't popular, but i was more or less the 'leader' of our little group. then, in fourth grade, a girl named nicole joined our circle of friends. at first it was great- we all played together, and invited each other to our birthday parties, etc. then, for some reason, it became really important to her that she turn all of my friends against me. if we were all together, she would try to hog their attention from me, talk over me, etc. behind my back, she would tell them all sorts of rotten things about me trying to get them to believe them. my friends wouldn't have any of it- they knew me much better than that. they never believed nicole when she said diabolic things about me, and they always told me how bothersome they thought it was when she acted that way, but to her face they were still nice to her and still her friend. i didn't understand that at the time- if she annoyed them so much then why not just tell her to go away? now i realize that it was a little more complicated than that. i never really understood why she became so jealous of me, though, and why she felt the need to push me out of position as 'group leader.' i'd never asked to be or instisted on being the ring leader or decision maker, that's just how it ended up in our group.
a few days ago, i was taking the purity test- not the 500 or so question long one, but the shorter one on the spark. on one of the questions, it asks you to write down the worst name you've ever called someone. the worst thing i could think of was when i called this girl geraldine a slut when i was 12. it's not b/c i couldn't think of times where i've said mean things to people, it's b/c if i really wanted to be mean, i'd do a little more than just call them a name. i'd just say somethings that i knew really pushed their buttons- things i knew that they were sensitive about and ashamed about. that's what girls do. that's how girls are mean to each other. that's how girls fight. they really get into your soul when they want to hurt you.
girls are evil, and unfortunately i'm no exception...
thank you everyone who responded to my last journal update. it's something that i've been meaning to reveal about myself for a while (especially if i wanted to meet any of you in person), but i wasn't really sure how to go about bringing it up. i finally found an opportunity the other day, and i'm SO glad i finally shared it with you. i feel much better now that you know the real me- the good, the bad, the ugly....the human me.
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That's always the saddest thing ever.