prozacrefugee

No posting in a while, too busy. Quitting my job and selling my house to move next month, I need the bay.

Of course she chooses now to try and tell me she misses me, after waiting 3 months to talk to me. She never agreed with me when I told her that who we are that day dies every night, and somebody new is...
Read More

So once again she got scared by something, hunts me down to tell me she loves me, then scares herself and runs away days later.

And once again I followed, even though I knew that would happen all along. We don't get smarter as we get older (how could we, our desires never change) we just get less suprised.

And I don't feel pissed or...
Read More

Coupland was right - "we're human, our first instinct when we see something beutiful is to eat it". I don't ever seem to grow up - I know better, but that doesn't seem to matter much.


Shit, praying at the Virgin? I've been artfully shallow to avoid exactly that.

Coupland was right - "we're human, our first instinct when we see something beutiful is to eat it". I don't ever seem to grow up - I know better, but that doesn't seem to matter much.


Shit, praying at the Virgin? I've been artfully shallow to avoid exactly that.

Fuck!

I've been slacking off at school because I was working so much. After work I'd rather go to the Bikini for drinks and company than do homework, so I've been letting shit get past me. But I'm stuck here until I finish school, so now I'm spending all weekend working on projects, looking at my grades, and moaning "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH...
Read More

Svije macke su siv u marku.

Trebam da govorim vise u srbsko-hrrvatski - mozda ja trebacu do ucim ceski. O ja cu biti ljud, i probacu da jesam pisac.

Shit man, she was right - things are getting weird. Not neccesarily in a bad way though. Plus I think we mostly try to put restraint upon ourselves as a prayer for someone else to break us out - we don't do what we want to so we can later. Or maybe it's just me.

Gone .

I'm like held by this life I have no interest in - I'm living in the future which is a slow death. I'm dreaming of being the walking dead, released, nirvana - to have an immediacy, a purity. Just to not be grasping. I worry cause I don't think I'll ever be able to be able to not act upon ideals, somehow I...
Read More

Oh, and nobody's reading this, but I'm leaving the country in July when I finish going back to school. I'm hoping to go to the UK or Ireland, but anywhere in the EU or Australia will work if need be. Don't know what to do with my animals - or how to tell my folks yet. But I don't want to live in the theocracy...
Read More

Finally got my computer back up after a nasty crash. Got a new doggie in the meantime - he's half lab half great dane.. I can't resist strays - explains as well some of my dating habits I think.

Shit, I love the fact that nobody's reading this . Really - it's all the benefits of conversing with none of the drawbacks.

I'm floating lately - or trying to convince myself I am. I'm gearing myself up to change, to torch everything in my life ONCE AGAIN, but I try and pretend I don't know that's what I'm doing. Instead I'm dressing up apathy...
Read More

More and more I realize self destruction is the only way to free ourselves from the futility of meaning to ourselves - its the only way we can be free to live, by giving up our fear we won't.