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One month till I'm 25. Crazy. I don't feel like I'm that old, but I definitely don't feel that young either. I'm definitely happy about where I am professionally in my life. I own a business, drive a very nice car, have employees, a descent place to live, money available if I need it, I have great friends that are loyal and trustworthy and there whenever I need them. So really the only place I guess I'm lacking is in the intimate relationship area. I shouldn't say lacking, I have sex regularly, with quite good looking people, but in my decade of dating, I've never officially dated someone for more than 9 months, in fact that was only once, other than that and one 5 month attempt, every actual relationship lasted at most one month. I guess the only reason I really question this is because in one month I will be the oldest person in the generation of my family (all sides) who hasn't been married. Everyone else got hitched by 25. I mean don't get me wrong, I don't want to be married. I see myself jumping into that in five years when I am in a position of complete stability. But to have this bad of a track record makes me think... I am doing something wrong? Or more importantly, what is it that attracts me to people who I have no chance with, or who have serious mental, emotional or personal problems?

Anyways... lets see what I've been up to. I saw Non-SG girl this week, had sex for the second time, it was just as bad. Seriously is it that hard for her to just interact with what is going on and not lie there motionless and silent!! Fuck... The first time it was the challenge of her never having an orgasm during sex, success there three times now, but all I asked was some vocal interaction maybe some feeling and licking here and there, but nothing...

Then I saw my ex. She is now on serious anti-depression medication and seeing both a psychiatrist and a therapist once a week. She seems better, and she wants me, really badly. But I just can't forgive her for 9 months of treating me like crap and then when we tried to be just friends getting treated just as bad for another almost two years. It had been 9 months since I'd seen her, it was nice, she is cute and I still have lots of feelings for her, but it still feels like salt on open wounds.

Then I saw our lovely angel0diablo who is as gorgeous as ever with her new hair color. I'm normally not into brunettes, but wow! hottie!! Of course she knows it. She turned me on left and right like she easily can, and then send me driving home... Unfortunately we were supposed to get together tonight pre-party at one of her other guys' houses and she was a no call/no show. Oh well, I'm sure she is making up for it with other hot people right now.

I worked from 8am to 7pm today, not too bad for a Friday. Then I stayed home with both my roommates and watched the last half of Boogie Nights, some Ali G Season 1, Real Time with Bill Maher, read a little Harry Potter (my book of the month) and got a chance to do a descent journal update here for once.

So thats it!

- Kevin