princessdoom

Excited and terrified at the same time. This feeling of not knowing haunts me! Be calm they say, don't stress! How can you not stress with the unknown looming over your head. Hidden within the cloud could be a gift or it could hold a box of endless shadows of grief...Don't stress...They're not in my position so it's easy to give out advice when the situation isn't yours. I wish I could keep my stress levels down, but the grief and excitement swelling inside me creates a turmoil unmatched by anything else. A tornado of uncertainty on how to feel, how to act, & what to do... I will know soon enough, but once you start looking at that clock time slows down and the soon enough become an eternity of waiting, or thinking...How many thoughts and plays of possibilities can go through ones mind during a time span of "soon"? A million? Bazillion? An unfathomable amount, especially with my mind, seeking an answer that will come "soon". But will the answer be the salvation to my emotional turmoil or will it fuel the shadows of agony threatening to break me apart from the inside? Soon they say...Don't stress they say.... All I can do it lie down and imagine that the images in my head being torn apart by demons of doubt with be the images of truth and the demons are just shadows of the doubt that plagues the back of my mind. Soon..I will know. just, soon.