Precious sleep is once again eluding me tonight, so I'll just share some of my thoughts for anyone interested or not.
I find myself in another transition phase of my life much sooner than I had planned or hoped. Alot has happened these last few years thats left me spinning almost out of control. If it wasn't for what little faith I do have, I'm not sure how much of my sanity would be left. But its always been a belief of mine that the greatest gains come from the greatest sacrifices. I've been contemplating on the nautre of free-will, destiny, and life. It is my contention that the only true choice I ever made was to be born into this life. And life is one long, drawn out moment driven by destiny to fulfill that choice so that I may be shaped by it. We make choices, and they are set into motion. It is only through a lack of faith that I try to alter the course before it has come to fruition, and thats because often I'm afraid of what I will become from it. But I'm no longer afraid. I let the echo of my true choice carry the decisions I make throughout this long moment without any regret, and this has given me a freedom I have never experienced before.
I'm getting out of the Army in 2 weeks, and I'm glad for it. My spirit couldn't take anymore of what was required of me. I'll get to see my family again after a little more than a year; thats going to be a blessing and a burden. You know, familys always mean well but it doesn't always translate into that. I'm not looking forward to going back to the old neighborhood, to many ghosts to deal with. My old situation is what drove me from home in the first place. It wont be so bad though, I should only be there long enough to setup the next stage of my life, which in all hopes wont be longer than 3 or 4 months. So I think its safe to say that by the end of the year I will be ready to move to my city of choice and start doing what I need to do. What I really want is an adventure, though not alone. If there are any brave souls out there willing to take a chance, let me know.
Well sleep has finally caught up with me, so thats a goodbye for now. Goodnight and sweet dreams...or goodmorning I should say
I find myself in another transition phase of my life much sooner than I had planned or hoped. Alot has happened these last few years thats left me spinning almost out of control. If it wasn't for what little faith I do have, I'm not sure how much of my sanity would be left. But its always been a belief of mine that the greatest gains come from the greatest sacrifices. I've been contemplating on the nautre of free-will, destiny, and life. It is my contention that the only true choice I ever made was to be born into this life. And life is one long, drawn out moment driven by destiny to fulfill that choice so that I may be shaped by it. We make choices, and they are set into motion. It is only through a lack of faith that I try to alter the course before it has come to fruition, and thats because often I'm afraid of what I will become from it. But I'm no longer afraid. I let the echo of my true choice carry the decisions I make throughout this long moment without any regret, and this has given me a freedom I have never experienced before.
I'm getting out of the Army in 2 weeks, and I'm glad for it. My spirit couldn't take anymore of what was required of me. I'll get to see my family again after a little more than a year; thats going to be a blessing and a burden. You know, familys always mean well but it doesn't always translate into that. I'm not looking forward to going back to the old neighborhood, to many ghosts to deal with. My old situation is what drove me from home in the first place. It wont be so bad though, I should only be there long enough to setup the next stage of my life, which in all hopes wont be longer than 3 or 4 months. So I think its safe to say that by the end of the year I will be ready to move to my city of choice and start doing what I need to do. What I really want is an adventure, though not alone. If there are any brave souls out there willing to take a chance, let me know.
Well sleep has finally caught up with me, so thats a goodbye for now. Goodnight and sweet dreams...or goodmorning I should say