THE GERMAN TOURIST STORY
I roll out of bed just a bit dazed, throw on my orange jacket and foam clogs (black plaid flannel pants, most likely), and stumble down to the restaurant for some coffee (no room service in Pff Echmond). I grab the biggest cup of the strongest stuff and head back to my room when I get accosted by the Bull German Tourist. He's sitting there at the waterhole with his cow and two daughters when he sees the young male approach. They chuckle at my attire, and I return a friendly smile and a good morning.
Perhaps unhappy with my sanguine attitude, the Bull decides to put the upstart in his place. He asks me where I got the shoes and I reply, "In Amsterdam."
"Well," he replies loudly, "it's all the same in the Netherlands, even here. You can do anything you want; you can have sex with girls right here on the table."
"How much?" I reply, giving my most charming smile.
One of the daughters gets it immediately, and begins choking softly on her laughter. The Bull doesn't, and asks, "How much, what?"
Acting puzzled, I clarify it for him, "To have sex with the girls right here on the table."
Later that afternoon, I was back in Amsterdam.
I roll out of bed just a bit dazed, throw on my orange jacket and foam clogs (black plaid flannel pants, most likely), and stumble down to the restaurant for some coffee (no room service in Pff Echmond). I grab the biggest cup of the strongest stuff and head back to my room when I get accosted by the Bull German Tourist. He's sitting there at the waterhole with his cow and two daughters when he sees the young male approach. They chuckle at my attire, and I return a friendly smile and a good morning.
Perhaps unhappy with my sanguine attitude, the Bull decides to put the upstart in his place. He asks me where I got the shoes and I reply, "In Amsterdam."
"Well," he replies loudly, "it's all the same in the Netherlands, even here. You can do anything you want; you can have sex with girls right here on the table."
"How much?" I reply, giving my most charming smile.
One of the daughters gets it immediately, and begins choking softly on her laughter. The Bull doesn't, and asks, "How much, what?"
Acting puzzled, I clarify it for him, "To have sex with the girls right here on the table."
Later that afternoon, I was back in Amsterdam.