prettygirl66

ok, i know i wrote an entry that said "life sux" today but now i'm going to actually explain why.

**it's probably going to be a bunch of random thoughts so please, bear with me.

today was one of those days when it's hard to get out of bed. i've been feeling down lately but i haven't really gotten out the reason why.

the truth is: my life is not supposed to be this way.

i'm supposed to be happy.
i'm supposed to be with the person that i believed was the best thing to ever happen to me.
i'm supposed to still know what it's like to be held and feel safe and loved.
i'm supposed to cry tears of joy, not pain.

i'm not supposed to wake up every morning expecting to see a face that's been long gone.
i'm not supposed to compare every man i meet to him.
i'm not supposed to be afraid of loving anyone again.
i'm not supposed to be anything but the happy person everyone around me thinks i am.

but i'm supposed to let go.

i'm supposed to let go of my feelings.
of love.
of hate.
of everything in between.

and it hurts more than anything else i've ever felt before in my entire life.

and i wanna be happy.
and feel safe and loved.
and cry tears of joy.
and believe it or not, I DO WANNA LET GO.

i just don't know how to do that.