i can't sleep and i'm bored.
**sigh**
i was just talking to my oldest friend who i haven't spoken to in about 2 months maybe. we used to be very close our entire lives up until almost a year ago when he told me that his girlfriend didn't want him speaking to me anymore. and of course, he honored her wishes and didnt speak to me for months.
then one day he called me out of the clear blue and asked if i was okay because he had a feeling something was wrong with me. coinsidently, it was the same night i caught my ex with that girl. so his feeling was right. but i didn't go into detail with him about what was wrong with me. i didn't feel comfortable talking to him after the decision he had made to stop speaking to me.
i know people grow apart as they get older but it wasn't something that happened naturally. it was someone else telling him what to do and him doing it. i just can't respect that.
that was back in march. i didn't hear from him again until mother's day when he called my cell phone and asked to speak to my mother without even saying hello. which did hurt but made it possible for me to see where we really stood. so i figured there was no point in dwelling on that at all. and haven't really thought about it again. but when i came online a few minutes ago, he IM-ed me and started with the bullshit small talk conversation that you give someone just so you can appear to be the bigger person.
that REALLY pisses me off. i'd rather be ignored than for someone to talk to me when there's really nothing to be said. so all i said was hello and gave him "yes" and "no" answers to everything he asked. apparently, that didn't sit too well with him because he got annoyed and said he'd leave me alone and signed off.
i should feel good about what i did. i shouldn't feel badly or feel like he was trying to re-establish our friendship and i gave him the cold shoulder. i know i shouldn't.
so why do i feel so badly???
**sigh**
i was just talking to my oldest friend who i haven't spoken to in about 2 months maybe. we used to be very close our entire lives up until almost a year ago when he told me that his girlfriend didn't want him speaking to me anymore. and of course, he honored her wishes and didnt speak to me for months.
then one day he called me out of the clear blue and asked if i was okay because he had a feeling something was wrong with me. coinsidently, it was the same night i caught my ex with that girl. so his feeling was right. but i didn't go into detail with him about what was wrong with me. i didn't feel comfortable talking to him after the decision he had made to stop speaking to me.
i know people grow apart as they get older but it wasn't something that happened naturally. it was someone else telling him what to do and him doing it. i just can't respect that.
that was back in march. i didn't hear from him again until mother's day when he called my cell phone and asked to speak to my mother without even saying hello. which did hurt but made it possible for me to see where we really stood. so i figured there was no point in dwelling on that at all. and haven't really thought about it again. but when i came online a few minutes ago, he IM-ed me and started with the bullshit small talk conversation that you give someone just so you can appear to be the bigger person.
that REALLY pisses me off. i'd rather be ignored than for someone to talk to me when there's really nothing to be said. so all i said was hello and gave him "yes" and "no" answers to everything he asked. apparently, that didn't sit too well with him because he got annoyed and said he'd leave me alone and signed off.
i should feel good about what i did. i shouldn't feel badly or feel like he was trying to re-establish our friendship and i gave him the cold shoulder. i know i shouldn't.
so why do i feel so badly???