Sometimes.... you just need a good cry!
SO hey what's up!? I have this complex (like most Gen Y babies I I've found) where I feel like I need to be super human and take of every person around me. ESPECIALLY family! Divorce is the word of day every day at my Mom's house. She is divorcing my step dad and man oh man is it world war three. Even tho there were promises to not force sides, the ties have been broken and a very very clear line drawn in the sand.
Welp, I have a little sister who is from both of them. I have been doing my best to look out for her but you can tell someone not to feel the water all around them when they submerged in it, if you know what I mean. Any who, my Mother freaked on me today when I said I was sad that I couldn't have relationship with my step father now that I know to many dirty details and have been to hurt by all of this. It was a sides thing. She pulled this for years when she divorced my father, it's fucked up. I think she is doing better this time around but who knows. I had to move out when I was 15 cause I just couldn't take it any more. BUT, she yelled and dropped me off at the curb of the train station and zoomed off before I finish my words or shut the door.
This is when I called the three men who are the best things going for me... My brother, my best friend and my baby. I chatted and decided to wash my hands clean. I cannot help my Mom I can only step back and stop letting it effect me so deeply, it has shaken me to my core trying to hold her together and take care of my sister. I can't save anybody, I'm not a super hero! Fuck that shit. SO I cried and I feel much better.
My mother called me much later into the day and left a tearful message about how she was sorry but you know what... I don't even care. I opt out. I'm done. I don't want to hear it. I'll accept the apology and everything but no more standing by and listening to shit talk and sides.
I clean my whole apartment, finally and hung up all my paintings a few from bunnyBLITZ (aka my baby). I miss him much! I like having his work up to comfort me.
Love AWFUL
SO hey what's up!? I have this complex (like most Gen Y babies I I've found) where I feel like I need to be super human and take of every person around me. ESPECIALLY family! Divorce is the word of day every day at my Mom's house. She is divorcing my step dad and man oh man is it world war three. Even tho there were promises to not force sides, the ties have been broken and a very very clear line drawn in the sand.
Welp, I have a little sister who is from both of them. I have been doing my best to look out for her but you can tell someone not to feel the water all around them when they submerged in it, if you know what I mean. Any who, my Mother freaked on me today when I said I was sad that I couldn't have relationship with my step father now that I know to many dirty details and have been to hurt by all of this. It was a sides thing. She pulled this for years when she divorced my father, it's fucked up. I think she is doing better this time around but who knows. I had to move out when I was 15 cause I just couldn't take it any more. BUT, she yelled and dropped me off at the curb of the train station and zoomed off before I finish my words or shut the door.
This is when I called the three men who are the best things going for me... My brother, my best friend and my baby. I chatted and decided to wash my hands clean. I cannot help my Mom I can only step back and stop letting it effect me so deeply, it has shaken me to my core trying to hold her together and take care of my sister. I can't save anybody, I'm not a super hero! Fuck that shit. SO I cried and I feel much better.
My mother called me much later into the day and left a tearful message about how she was sorry but you know what... I don't even care. I opt out. I'm done. I don't want to hear it. I'll accept the apology and everything but no more standing by and listening to shit talk and sides.
I clean my whole apartment, finally and hung up all my paintings a few from bunnyBLITZ (aka my baby). I miss him much! I like having his work up to comfort me.
Love AWFUL
I hope things look up soon!