prana

I'm writing this because I know noone will probably read it,
and then it will be gone forever. I am nearly paralysed with
unhappiness. I've lost all the hours this week from my job;
they didn't even call to tell me, I had to walk to work and
find out by asking. They gave my nightime hours to some-
one 6 years younger than me, who has no experience,( com-
praed to my 10 years in the restraunt business), and already
has another job, unlike me.
My mom cries to me on the phone because her life is falling
apart, her new business is failing, based on the foundation
of other people who don't have the guts just to say what they
mean. I'm going through the same thing, except she's 45 and it's
breaking my heart how hard she's trying.
I'm writing this here because I don't know anyone else who cares;
people don't like you when you fail. I'd put this in a written journal,
but then I'd be tempted to go back and burn it, so I wouldn't be re-
minded of such a difficult time in my life. ANOTHER difficult time.
But I'll keep trying, alone and without any strong sense of hope, be-
cause that's how I was raised to be. " A foundation of hardship is just
a stronger foundation." We'll see. We'll see.