porkswords

it just kind of occured to me that i haven't actually finished a drawing for myself this month. i'm working on that big piece, but only here and there because i'm doing shit for school.
drawing still-lifes is so fucking boring and i'm not very good at it. i don't know why i'm having such a problem with this stupid, basic technique. i'm trying to draw a drapery in my room, which is supposed to be a 15-20 hour drawing, and i got stumped at, like, an hour and a half and i'm not sure what else to do again. i fucking hate charcoal.

i've been pretty antisocial lately, not really wanting to do anything or go out or anything. not that there is anything to do; living in the suburbs is really starting to fuck with me again. i spend most of my time out in the city, just to get out of this dump where i know every backroad and know every fuck-up in town because most of those fuck-ups have been my friends at one point or another. but i can't afford to move because i don't really make any money- my job is just slowing down how much smaller my bank account gets every week. uggghhh.

i think work is starting to notice that i don't really care anymore about, you know, working super hard and stressing out about anything. i told one of my bosses when he was bitching about everything going on in receiving that he shouldn't yell at me because i only make $9.00 an hour and that he should yell at someone at a higher paygrade than me.

i'd go get a better job, i'm just not really sure where i would find a job that pays hella more money and accommodates my school schedule. fuckin weak sauce.

school is such a bonerkill. i love finally going to school for something that i care about and shit like that, and in my digital photography/photoshop class, i'm killin' it with an A. in my basic analysis for form class, i'm not so killing it with a C. fucking weak.

oh well. whatever. shit happens.

here's a couple of pics from that photo thing i did yesterday when i wasn't actually taking the shots i needed: