I used to pride myself on not acting as "old" as I was. Lately, though, I've been reminded more and more lately that I am getting into the meat of my thirties. The pain that comes every day with a visit to the gym, the fact that I will most likely never run a two-miler in less than thirteen minutes ever again, and my hairline (or lack thereof) are all grim reminders that I was born in 1975.
What really makes me feel old, though, is the fact that I catch myself seriously wondering what the fuck is up with kids today? I am now at the point where adults (legally--18+) are fully part of the generation after mine. I have only been in the army seven years, but I can see the difference between my fellow privates in 2001, and the new soldiers of 2008.
One of my things is to understand people. It's an inherent part of my current job--interrogation and source handling--is breaking down people's motivations and personalities, so the better understanding leads to more intelligence (and more intelligence leads to more bad guys not being on the streets anymore). My future career--counselor--will have me break down those same things, so the better understanding leads to the solving of problems which make life so difficult for my patients. I say all of this to make sure you understand that I have really been thinking about this and it's not a kneejerk "You aren't me, so you are wrong" reaction to changing generations.
The common denominator seems to be a lack of consequence. Kid's today don't seem to understand that actions can lead to negative reactions. I've got a soldier who is younger than my little brother. Those of you who know Chris know that he is a LOT younger than me. Thirteen years, to be exact. My soldier was born the month I started eighth grade. Anyway, here are some of the things that make me question the way kids are today.
First, the kid is married. I know. He shows up at the unit, age 18, with a wife he met in the Interrogator school who is stationed in Hawaii. Talking about the bad idea it is to lower the minimum age for interrogation from 21 to 18 is a different blog. Ditto 18 year old training romances. ANYWAY, so this kid goes to visit his wife over the holidays. He stays in her barracks room, a violation of pretty much every barracks policy I've ever seen (and I've stayed in a lot of different sets of barracks). Overnight guests are not allowed, ESPECIALLY when they are of the opposite sex, regardless of if you are married. Get a room, private. So, he is told he can't stay there by one of the sergeants in her unit. He stays there anyway. They get in an awesome loud screaming match that night, which causes other people sleeping in the barracks to call the Charge of Quarters (kind of like the RA on duty). He comes up, realizes the kid is not part of the unit, and therefore shouldn't be in the barracks at 0-dark-thirty and tells him he needs to leave. My boy's response is "You aren't in my chain of command, fuck off!"
I don't think you have to know much about the military to know that is not allowed. Sworn statements are taken, senior sergeants are called in, all kinds of nonsense. We get copies of the sworn statements back in Colorado. My command at the time decides not to press any charges on the kid (I disagreed, but my bosses overruled me), but his wife actually lost rank over the deal.
Okay. Fast forward to the present. The kid is in the middle of his first deployment. Things are rough between him and the missus. Of course, two 18 year olds who fell in love during a 14-week course probably didn't really think the whole separation/deployment thing through. No thought about the consequences. The marriage is rocky with my boy being gone. Not that they were together, but yeah. It's rocky. He wants to get transferred to Hawaii so they can be together. It's easier than getting her transferred to Colorado. Well, we get all of the stuff together, but let him know that it requires her unit's approval for this to happen. Her unit--the one in which he told a sergeant to fuck off. We tell him that might come to bite him in the ass. His response?
"That's Bullshit."
What? Que? Sta? I can only express my confusion to that response in three languages, but trust me, the feeling goes further.
I ask you all. Is this bullshit?
So last night, we are all getting ready to go to work. I was running a little late, so I see everyone sitting around the Silver Bullet. The Silver Bullet is one of our cars, a Hyundai Accent with a busted up back quarter panel that we confiscated from some bad guy three years ago or so. "What are we waiting on, guys?" "<KID> lost the keys to the bullet." The ensuing fruitless search makes the whole shift late for work. To make matters worse, since it's a confiscated car, it's not like we can get spare keys or anything. And vehicles are in short supply where we are at, so it's not like we can get a new car just like that.
So, I sit the kid down to counsel him on his actions, and tell him that he made a whole shift late and could end up permanently costing our facility one of it's vehicles. His response?
"It's really that big of a deal?"
Dude.
NO thought of consequences.
These are the kids who won a war of attrition with their parents. They whine and whine and eventually the parents cave because they are either never around enough or don't want to be disciplinarians.
Bullshit.
I got bad grades. My parents' response--No computer. No going out.
I got brought home by the cops for playing with matches in the woods behind my house. My parents' response--Grounded.
I threw a rock off of the roof and hit some lady walking by. My parents' response--A spanked ass and being grounded for what seemed like forever.
I learned consequences. My actions had results. These kids... gah...
Grr.
What really makes me feel old, though, is the fact that I catch myself seriously wondering what the fuck is up with kids today? I am now at the point where adults (legally--18+) are fully part of the generation after mine. I have only been in the army seven years, but I can see the difference between my fellow privates in 2001, and the new soldiers of 2008.
One of my things is to understand people. It's an inherent part of my current job--interrogation and source handling--is breaking down people's motivations and personalities, so the better understanding leads to more intelligence (and more intelligence leads to more bad guys not being on the streets anymore). My future career--counselor--will have me break down those same things, so the better understanding leads to the solving of problems which make life so difficult for my patients. I say all of this to make sure you understand that I have really been thinking about this and it's not a kneejerk "You aren't me, so you are wrong" reaction to changing generations.
The common denominator seems to be a lack of consequence. Kid's today don't seem to understand that actions can lead to negative reactions. I've got a soldier who is younger than my little brother. Those of you who know Chris know that he is a LOT younger than me. Thirteen years, to be exact. My soldier was born the month I started eighth grade. Anyway, here are some of the things that make me question the way kids are today.
First, the kid is married. I know. He shows up at the unit, age 18, with a wife he met in the Interrogator school who is stationed in Hawaii. Talking about the bad idea it is to lower the minimum age for interrogation from 21 to 18 is a different blog. Ditto 18 year old training romances. ANYWAY, so this kid goes to visit his wife over the holidays. He stays in her barracks room, a violation of pretty much every barracks policy I've ever seen (and I've stayed in a lot of different sets of barracks). Overnight guests are not allowed, ESPECIALLY when they are of the opposite sex, regardless of if you are married. Get a room, private. So, he is told he can't stay there by one of the sergeants in her unit. He stays there anyway. They get in an awesome loud screaming match that night, which causes other people sleeping in the barracks to call the Charge of Quarters (kind of like the RA on duty). He comes up, realizes the kid is not part of the unit, and therefore shouldn't be in the barracks at 0-dark-thirty and tells him he needs to leave. My boy's response is "You aren't in my chain of command, fuck off!"
I don't think you have to know much about the military to know that is not allowed. Sworn statements are taken, senior sergeants are called in, all kinds of nonsense. We get copies of the sworn statements back in Colorado. My command at the time decides not to press any charges on the kid (I disagreed, but my bosses overruled me), but his wife actually lost rank over the deal.
Okay. Fast forward to the present. The kid is in the middle of his first deployment. Things are rough between him and the missus. Of course, two 18 year olds who fell in love during a 14-week course probably didn't really think the whole separation/deployment thing through. No thought about the consequences. The marriage is rocky with my boy being gone. Not that they were together, but yeah. It's rocky. He wants to get transferred to Hawaii so they can be together. It's easier than getting her transferred to Colorado. Well, we get all of the stuff together, but let him know that it requires her unit's approval for this to happen. Her unit--the one in which he told a sergeant to fuck off. We tell him that might come to bite him in the ass. His response?
"That's Bullshit."
What? Que? Sta? I can only express my confusion to that response in three languages, but trust me, the feeling goes further.
I ask you all. Is this bullshit?
So last night, we are all getting ready to go to work. I was running a little late, so I see everyone sitting around the Silver Bullet. The Silver Bullet is one of our cars, a Hyundai Accent with a busted up back quarter panel that we confiscated from some bad guy three years ago or so. "What are we waiting on, guys?" "<KID> lost the keys to the bullet." The ensuing fruitless search makes the whole shift late for work. To make matters worse, since it's a confiscated car, it's not like we can get spare keys or anything. And vehicles are in short supply where we are at, so it's not like we can get a new car just like that.
So, I sit the kid down to counsel him on his actions, and tell him that he made a whole shift late and could end up permanently costing our facility one of it's vehicles. His response?
"It's really that big of a deal?"
Dude.
NO thought of consequences.
These are the kids who won a war of attrition with their parents. They whine and whine and eventually the parents cave because they are either never around enough or don't want to be disciplinarians.
Bullshit.
I got bad grades. My parents' response--No computer. No going out.
I got brought home by the cops for playing with matches in the woods behind my house. My parents' response--Grounded.
I threw a rock off of the roof and hit some lady walking by. My parents' response--A spanked ass and being grounded for what seemed like forever.
I learned consequences. My actions had results. These kids... gah...
Grr.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
I grabbed this from Advocates for Youth website:
Until the early 1970's child sexual abuse was thought to be rare, and centered among the poor. Experts now agree that child sexual abuse has always occurred and still exists in all socio-economic groups. Increased public awareness has led to greater reporting; from 1970 to 1990, child sexual abuse reports increased more than other categories of neglect or abuse.1 Despite this gain, child sexual abuse still remains vastly under-reported.
Children and adolescents who have been sexually victimized are at increased risk for HIV infection, unplanned pregnancy and other negative outcomes. Unfortunately, the personal skills needed to prevent sexually-transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancy are exactly those eradicated by sexual abuse. People who work with youth must be aware of the possible connection; sexual abuse prevention must be a component of any program promoting adolescent reproductive and sexual health.
In other words, when we were kids, our parents were able to spank us, belt our butts, hit our heads with a wooden spoon, slapped, cursed at, yelled at, locked in our rooms after school unless we had to pee (if that), etc. Today if we do so much as look @ our children the wrong way, they can report that to their teacher and the next thing you know, social services and the police are at your door ready to cuff you. Fucking insane, huh?
The deal is, that's what "kids" do, it doesn't matter when in history, and inconsequent "kids" have always been around and always will be. Surely your parents will have a story or two like that.
The thing is he still might have a chance to grow up, hopefully. That kid has nothing to do in the army, period. At least not yet.