12 POUNDS! If I could caps lock numbers I would! I've freaking lost *12* pounds, in like what 3 weeks? Holy crap! Some people might be happy about that, but when you only weighed 113# to begin with, getting down to 101.4# is NOT COOL! How am I supposed to give blood now if I can't pack on at LEAST 9 more pounds before the next blood drive? I know, you're thinking who on earth cares about weighing enough to donate blood? ME! Because I'm O positive and I've only been able to give blood for the first time last year (weight, tattoos, piercings). Plus ever since they first did a blood drive at my old high school and I didn't weigh enough, it has been a really big deal to me.
So bring on the CARBS, FATS and SUGARS ie: BEER, BURGERS (or whatever) and CHOCOLATE (I don't really like beer much, but I've discovered that Bud Light is just slightly palatable, very cheap, and looks like apple juice when you pour it in a glass. Sadly, Bud Light is low carb. But it's become my new thing, since I've been feeling there is a major lack of alcohol in my day-to-day or night-to-night life. If I could afford to pay more than $2 for alcohol I would, but since I really can't even afford to be paying that, I'll deal.
I REALLY need to give up and get a job this semester. I know it will kill me to work and try to go to school, but I have had ENOUGH of being broke, I go to lunches with friends that I can't afford because I feel bad about not going with them, and I need to eat anyway right? And then having my trainer take a rain check on fees? Asking my parents for money they don;t have to pay her, to buy me things for school, to fix my computer. It's just CRAP! I'd rather make C's than be so broke all the time.
I know I'm going a little crazy with the caps, I'm quite tense today.
1) nearly tried to to KILL a dog at school today. I messed up the breathing system on the anesthesia machine, hooked it up wrong so no gas could escape, which could have very effectively exploded that animals lungs. Thank god I'm still in school and there was a teacher near by to fix it. Where the FUCK is my head??? It was such a rookie mistake and I could have cost an animal it's life today. The rest of the lab went fine and my partner and I got everything else done with out a hitch, but what is that when I could have killed an animal out of sheer stupidity and lack of focus, lack of paying attention and thinking?
2) Today's test for Large Animal, which should have been simple, wen t quite badly. None of the questions were on material that I studied. Oh wait, I DIDN'T study, I just crammed the notes in last night.
I need to explain that this was an all day thing. Up at 4:30 to do cat wards at school, couldn't find a dogs meds, and thus got snappy with a very wonderful friend of mine who was just trying to tell me where they were (yes I apologized, I felt so bad. I wish I could learn to just chill the fuck out.) Then after I made coffee in my french press in my first class, I didn't realize my mug still had coffee sludge in it and I held it by the handle by my leg, and slung coffee all over the back of my pants. Then said lab happened and said test.
Now I'm waiting. Waiting waiting waiting to make a phone call that I really want to make, but am TERRIFIED of making and I'm nervous as hell about it. Going to finish this cheap beer and try to do a little bit more school work before I pick up the phone. I hope have the strength.
So bring on the CARBS, FATS and SUGARS ie: BEER, BURGERS (or whatever) and CHOCOLATE (I don't really like beer much, but I've discovered that Bud Light is just slightly palatable, very cheap, and looks like apple juice when you pour it in a glass. Sadly, Bud Light is low carb. But it's become my new thing, since I've been feeling there is a major lack of alcohol in my day-to-day or night-to-night life. If I could afford to pay more than $2 for alcohol I would, but since I really can't even afford to be paying that, I'll deal.
I REALLY need to give up and get a job this semester. I know it will kill me to work and try to go to school, but I have had ENOUGH of being broke, I go to lunches with friends that I can't afford because I feel bad about not going with them, and I need to eat anyway right? And then having my trainer take a rain check on fees? Asking my parents for money they don;t have to pay her, to buy me things for school, to fix my computer. It's just CRAP! I'd rather make C's than be so broke all the time.
I know I'm going a little crazy with the caps, I'm quite tense today.
1) nearly tried to to KILL a dog at school today. I messed up the breathing system on the anesthesia machine, hooked it up wrong so no gas could escape, which could have very effectively exploded that animals lungs. Thank god I'm still in school and there was a teacher near by to fix it. Where the FUCK is my head??? It was such a rookie mistake and I could have cost an animal it's life today. The rest of the lab went fine and my partner and I got everything else done with out a hitch, but what is that when I could have killed an animal out of sheer stupidity and lack of focus, lack of paying attention and thinking?
2) Today's test for Large Animal, which should have been simple, wen t quite badly. None of the questions were on material that I studied. Oh wait, I DIDN'T study, I just crammed the notes in last night.
I need to explain that this was an all day thing. Up at 4:30 to do cat wards at school, couldn't find a dogs meds, and thus got snappy with a very wonderful friend of mine who was just trying to tell me where they were (yes I apologized, I felt so bad. I wish I could learn to just chill the fuck out.) Then after I made coffee in my french press in my first class, I didn't realize my mug still had coffee sludge in it and I held it by the handle by my leg, and slung coffee all over the back of my pants. Then said lab happened and said test.
Now I'm waiting. Waiting waiting waiting to make a phone call that I really want to make, but am TERRIFIED of making and I'm nervous as hell about it. Going to finish this cheap beer and try to do a little bit more school work before I pick up the phone. I hope have the strength.