ponette

Nashville was great. More than great. It was so good that I am now feeling torn between returning and staying here. To go back would mean to lose the beach and this private little world without recycled air and cigarette smoke. Though sometimes I wonder if I am so stubborn that i would stay on in SD just to prove I can.

At work today the Rabbi in charge told me that he doesn't intend to give me my 4K raise that was promised and scheduled to begin today because since I'm now answering the phone as well as all the other shit, he can't see that I am worth the $. He is never there and has had one meeting with me since hiring me to run the entiire org in June. Every staff person has told me they don't know how they would get their jobs done without me and I have worked at a 75% paycut from what others make in my position in SD. Meanwhile, the org pays his son's rent, two of his daughters work there along with his wife, and a son in law and daughter in law. Several people have quit lately. And no one has held my position as long as I have in 12 years.
I have never hated a person until today. I genuinely wish for bad things to happpen to him.
A very weird thing is going on inside my head. I can't help but associate all Jews with the insanity I have witnessed at this place in the last 3 months. I feel ashamed to be jewsih and thankful that i was not raised like these people. they live up to the stereotype and it sickens me. I know my felings are wrong - that it's stupid to think of people so narrowly. But at this moment, I can see how it starts.

I worked for an alcoholic cocaine addict who was cheating on his pregnant wife once. He was a lawyer. He was a better man than Rabbi Yonah Fradkin.