I've mentioned that I'm a writer... Since 1999 I have been writing an e-mail column called the "milk memo". It started out as just a thing for some friends who liked my writing and wanted me to send them bits every once in a while. But over the years it's snowballed into a few hundred people all over the world who subscribe via e-mail and when I put together something I'm not too embarrassed about, I send it out. I get mostly fan mail, which I love. But I also get a few comments about how I'm displeased God is with me or advice on how to lead a "normal" life. 
Anyway, here is a sample of MILK MEMO. If you'd like to subscribe, just let me know. It's free!
Why I Wear Black: a milk memo
I was President of my Baptist church youth group. I say this like it was a pin I earned and wore on a pooh-bah hat at secret meetings. Well, okay, I was elected to the position, but I was the obvious choice at the time. Who else would have done it? And I did have enough guts to admit to my fellow youth that I had fallen prey to peer pressure that summer retreat by taking a puff off a joint before I threw it out the thirteenth story window. It was Us against Them, right? And all the Christians at DCHS had to unite.
But I was living a double life, making new friends. That was the year I started wearing a lot more black.
My new friend Mikayla, who I met in Play Production class, looked like the lead singer of Four Non Blondes. She fell out of a Pretty In Pink Movie, with her own style, her own opinions and her own way of scaring the hell out of high school boys. What made me like her though, was that she was so nice too not an easy thing to come by with high school girls.
It was required for Play Production that each student attends one play a month and writes a review for our teacher, Mr. Payne. I had found a small local theater called Carpenters Square, which was in the heart of downtown and produced the most controversial plays. But of course, I didnt know it at time. One weekend Mikayla and I went to see Equus. The program said:
EQUUS depicts the story of a deranged youth who blinds six horses with a spike. Through a psychiatrist's analysis of the events, Shaffer creates a chilling portrait of how materialism and convenience have killed our capacity for worship and passion and, consequently, our capacity for pain. The play explores questions about what is Normal and to what extent society will go to normalize people - or to lock them away somewhere if they can't be normalized.
I took the opportunity away from my lockstep routine to dress a little less uniformed that night. From the top of my head to the tip of my toes I was the sleek lady in black. Mikayla showed up in a long black skirt and her signature matching lipstick. I barely moved during the performance, and when it was over, I was sure I wouldnt be telling my youth group about it. There was insanity, horses and finally, full frontal male nudity. Looking back now, I remember the shock on Mr. Paynes face when I told him we saw Equus. If there was an age requirement for that show, I suspect some scheming volunteers at the theater overlooked it. Mikayla and I were always the youngest patrons.
Another person who started going to plays with me was a transfer student who ended up in Play Production only because he enrolled late. His name was Craig and he hardly uttered a word that wasnt sarcastic or out of place. But he had true blonde hair and looked great in his jeans, so I took him to the strangest performances I could find and hoped hed eventually hold my hand. By the time we saw the Elephant Man, I was a seasoned pro and soaked up every scene. We were invited to the cast party where Mikayla lit up a cigarette on a long stem filter like she was Greta Garbo. I had a glass of champagne and eyed the lead actor through the smoky haze.
My secret world of theater was one pleasure in my life that went unchallenged by my conservative friends because they knew nothing at all about it. As long as the title was tame, I could have been watching live porn for all they knew. Of course, this wasnt the case, but that fact alone was a learning experience. Even before radio stations started playing 2 Live Crew, I sat in Carpenter Square Theater and learned the fine line between art and obscenity.
Several years later I was in the audience of another Oklahoma City theater and watched Craigs on stage performance in the most moving, disturbing play I have ever seen The Metaphor. His character as tortured Man was so believable; I struggled not to jump onto the stage to rescue him. If the Metaphor were a movie that year, Craig earned an Oscar. Who knew that within that fair haired, shy boy was a genius actor with depth beyond words?
And that is precisely my point. If art, in whatever form, has a purpose, perhaps it is to draw out of us the people we really are. All the emotion, whether it is anger, contempt, delirium, tears or unbroken laughter, this is who we are. Nobody can paint a portrait, sing a song or dance in such a way that it MAKES you feel anything. Good art simply makes you see something about yourself you didnt see before even if that something is a dislike for the feelings inside you. A crazy photographer I once worked with said I cant make you feel anything. How you feel and react to a situation is your choice.
Get to know yourself. Experience art.
_______________________________________
Suggestions for theater pleasure:
Art by Yasmina Reza
How I Learned to Drive by Paula Vogel
Equus by Peter Shaffer
Why Hannahs Skirt Wont Stay Down - by Tom Eyen
Anyway, here is a sample of MILK MEMO. If you'd like to subscribe, just let me know. It's free!
Why I Wear Black: a milk memo
I was President of my Baptist church youth group. I say this like it was a pin I earned and wore on a pooh-bah hat at secret meetings. Well, okay, I was elected to the position, but I was the obvious choice at the time. Who else would have done it? And I did have enough guts to admit to my fellow youth that I had fallen prey to peer pressure that summer retreat by taking a puff off a joint before I threw it out the thirteenth story window. It was Us against Them, right? And all the Christians at DCHS had to unite.
But I was living a double life, making new friends. That was the year I started wearing a lot more black.
My new friend Mikayla, who I met in Play Production class, looked like the lead singer of Four Non Blondes. She fell out of a Pretty In Pink Movie, with her own style, her own opinions and her own way of scaring the hell out of high school boys. What made me like her though, was that she was so nice too not an easy thing to come by with high school girls.
It was required for Play Production that each student attends one play a month and writes a review for our teacher, Mr. Payne. I had found a small local theater called Carpenters Square, which was in the heart of downtown and produced the most controversial plays. But of course, I didnt know it at time. One weekend Mikayla and I went to see Equus. The program said:
EQUUS depicts the story of a deranged youth who blinds six horses with a spike. Through a psychiatrist's analysis of the events, Shaffer creates a chilling portrait of how materialism and convenience have killed our capacity for worship and passion and, consequently, our capacity for pain. The play explores questions about what is Normal and to what extent society will go to normalize people - or to lock them away somewhere if they can't be normalized.
I took the opportunity away from my lockstep routine to dress a little less uniformed that night. From the top of my head to the tip of my toes I was the sleek lady in black. Mikayla showed up in a long black skirt and her signature matching lipstick. I barely moved during the performance, and when it was over, I was sure I wouldnt be telling my youth group about it. There was insanity, horses and finally, full frontal male nudity. Looking back now, I remember the shock on Mr. Paynes face when I told him we saw Equus. If there was an age requirement for that show, I suspect some scheming volunteers at the theater overlooked it. Mikayla and I were always the youngest patrons.
Another person who started going to plays with me was a transfer student who ended up in Play Production only because he enrolled late. His name was Craig and he hardly uttered a word that wasnt sarcastic or out of place. But he had true blonde hair and looked great in his jeans, so I took him to the strangest performances I could find and hoped hed eventually hold my hand. By the time we saw the Elephant Man, I was a seasoned pro and soaked up every scene. We were invited to the cast party where Mikayla lit up a cigarette on a long stem filter like she was Greta Garbo. I had a glass of champagne and eyed the lead actor through the smoky haze.
My secret world of theater was one pleasure in my life that went unchallenged by my conservative friends because they knew nothing at all about it. As long as the title was tame, I could have been watching live porn for all they knew. Of course, this wasnt the case, but that fact alone was a learning experience. Even before radio stations started playing 2 Live Crew, I sat in Carpenter Square Theater and learned the fine line between art and obscenity.
Several years later I was in the audience of another Oklahoma City theater and watched Craigs on stage performance in the most moving, disturbing play I have ever seen The Metaphor. His character as tortured Man was so believable; I struggled not to jump onto the stage to rescue him. If the Metaphor were a movie that year, Craig earned an Oscar. Who knew that within that fair haired, shy boy was a genius actor with depth beyond words?
And that is precisely my point. If art, in whatever form, has a purpose, perhaps it is to draw out of us the people we really are. All the emotion, whether it is anger, contempt, delirium, tears or unbroken laughter, this is who we are. Nobody can paint a portrait, sing a song or dance in such a way that it MAKES you feel anything. Good art simply makes you see something about yourself you didnt see before even if that something is a dislike for the feelings inside you. A crazy photographer I once worked with said I cant make you feel anything. How you feel and react to a situation is your choice.
Get to know yourself. Experience art.
_______________________________________
Suggestions for theater pleasure:
Art by Yasmina Reza
How I Learned to Drive by Paula Vogel
Equus by Peter Shaffer
Why Hannahs Skirt Wont Stay Down - by Tom Eyen
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I know this doesn't compare, but I had to do a scene in Rocking Horse Winner once with the guy I had a crush on, Craig. We were just handed the script and asked to go at it in front of the class. We get to this scene where it says we are to kiss.
There was another time I got paired up with this harley guy named scott and we were doing this exercise in improvisation where you face each other and mimic each others movements. You are to look your partner in the eye and not lose eye contact.... I got so turned on I had to walk out of the room.
Come to think of it, maybe that class wasn't so bad.
[Edited on Aug 09, 2004 10:16PM]