pokes

You know it's been rough when a relationship leaves you feeling like persuing love just isn't worth it. The fact that despite the headache and heartache I keep going back for more tells me this is a cycle I will likely repeat either till the day I die or until I find whoever it is I'm meant to be with. Unfortunately the more it happens the more I come to accept that I'd settle for someone simply suitable as opposed to absolutely ideal.
I'm not sure I ever consciously bought into the idea of there being a single soulmate for everyone out there. The idea of there being only one person for everyone on the planet always bummed me out and made the notion of finding love seem futile. I mean what if my soulmate lives in some hovel somewhere I'd never possibly visit? That realization alone was enough to dispell any attatchment to the romantic notion of a soulmate. Nonetheless, accepting the fact that you'll probably end up settling for compatible companionship over boundless love can be quite the bummer. Innocence is fleeting; hold onto yours as long as you can. Once you lose it, it's just compromise after compromise until you wake up one day an old man who's spent the last however many long years with one of those very compromises.
Fuck you Ashley.