I know I have already written about this woman, but my heart still aches that she is no longer a part of the site. I will only use her user name out if respect for her privacy.
This woman was amazing. She came back to this site when I was in a dark place and get energy, her positivity drive me to want to be better for myself. She is artistic. She is thoughtful. She is a deep soul and passionate. She is and always will be gorgeous. I found myself in here multiple times a day writing back and forth with her about anything and everything. In a short time I felt like we had been friends for years.
She had her love for and challenges and I had mine. My diabetes was raging out if control and I didn't care for myself at all. She helped me see things in myself and who I wanted to be after so many years of people tearing me down and making me feel invisible. She made me feel like I mattered. Which made me want to matter.
I will be honest, I fell in love with her. I really feel like I would have dropped everything here and packed up if she had asked. Even though we were only fated to be friends, she is the kind of person who erased the bar shit that piles on in life and shows that flowers bloom even when shit is deepest.
I realize that I want to be loved deeply. I want to be thought of, desired, yearned for, cherished... I want to believe that there is someone who feels that way toward me. She was as close as I even realized that fantasy. Close, but still a universe away.
She is gone from here and I miss all the deep conversations we had. I miss how beautiful she made everything without even trying. @user8992 you are still the warmth that inspires, even after your gone all this long. That, ladies and gentlemen, is true greatness.