I've been thinking too much about mortality lately, which is probably the worst thing you could do around the holidays,. This was the first christmas without my mom and it was uncomfortable, to put it mildly. everyone seemed ready to pick a fight and lately that's been unusual around us. There are family members who just don't like each other but that was all put aside when my mom was sick. I guess everyone is reverting back. But I digress...
I've become too dependent on everyone and everything but myself, and I'm quite tired of it. I've always been able to rise above pressure. It's not a conscious thing, it's just what I do. Lately I've been buckling under, and that bothers me. I know I'm human, not stone, and with everything 2004 has brought me, I guess it's understandable. But it's not acceptable. Not by a long shot.
So changes have to be made. Distractions have to be set aside. Life needs to be grabbed by the ever-loving cojones and torn to shreds. I need to get back to being me.
I've become too dependent on everyone and everything but myself, and I'm quite tired of it. I've always been able to rise above pressure. It's not a conscious thing, it's just what I do. Lately I've been buckling under, and that bothers me. I know I'm human, not stone, and with everything 2004 has brought me, I guess it's understandable. But it's not acceptable. Not by a long shot.
So changes have to be made. Distractions have to be set aside. Life needs to be grabbed by the ever-loving cojones and torn to shreds. I need to get back to being me.
Its still ok to lean on friends while you get yourself back to being you.