hi. im so sad. i feel so alone and trapped. as some of you know, i live in isla vista which is like this crazy party town and i hate it. im only here for school but im miserable. i hate the parties, the noise, the drunk girls wobbling down the street... i hate having to go outside, so i hate going to lecture, i hate talking to anyone and avoid saying anything if i dont have to.
i dont know why im so unhappy but i feel so trapped between conflicting emotions.
i think im alone because i choose to be but im so sad....
theres so many bad things happening in the world, and i feel selfish for feeling sad. i want so bad to travel around the world doing humanitarian work but i feel like i have to do school first.
anyway, im babbling but im so frustrated.
im just so disturbed by whats going on with me and everything else thats wrong in this world.
like why are 700 teachers being cut from the schools i came from? theres already overcrowding, and school is becoming a joke. its becoming a pathetic propagandistic tool (not that it wasn't before).
anyway, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK. jeez.
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when things are bad for me (which they have been lately) i feel trapped and alone my self. but my mom reminds me that even tho i might be going threw fucked up shit. theres probably some one worse off than me. and shes probably right.but that doesnt change the way i feel lol.honestly i think it makes me feel worse! so if you ask me i say be mad and be sad. because its those 2 things that will help you become stronger. and being strong will help u get threw anything. And maybe just maybe that will lead you to become the humanitarian we can all be proud of. So keep grindin to better yourself and try to remember that it will all be worth it in the end.
As far as hating to go outside, at least you don't live somewhere where perpetual sleet, hail, snow and otherwise shitty weather reigns supreme.