poemelyric

I'm bored so I'll share a little excerpt from my book:

I just need to feel something other than not feeling. That's what I feel like now. That I'm not really getting any enjoyment. That the meds make me not go crazy but that it dulls my senses in a way. The only thing I really feel strongly is anger. I mean, I get addicted to some things like pain (hence all of the tattoos) but nothing really like feeling immense joy, pleasure or stuff like that. I don't have those moments when I feel pure bliss. It's all just a constant dull feeling. That's why I love drugs so much. It takes me to another place where I can feel totally happy. That's why I love E. I'm just ecstatic all the time on it and I'm just a better person on it. I think that's what I'm really looking for. To feel that way all of the time. Cause it's better than the alternative. If only they could bottle up happiness and put it in a bottle... I'd buy a shitload of it. But then again, they'd probably make that illegal too.

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