My sister has invited me to the annual Spanish Inquisition session on Saturday. For those who care, my sister is older than me and a physician so being arrogant and domineering comes naturally to her. It doesnt help that she married into a pious, self-serving family of doctors and shares the house with doctor hubbys doctor parents while I struggle to make a living.
I will be spending Saturday evening with them, stuffing my dignity with turkey and potatoes while listening to doctor hubby expound on the theme of Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition to my nephew, a.k.a. the Prince of Heaven. If it wasnt for my niece and goddaughter, who has managed to maintain some sense of compassion (all she needs is to find a good Asian husband and make babies anyway), I would have saved myself plenty of gift money and headache pills by returning the disdain they have for me.
I have found what I call buffers, are a good way to deal with my sisters family. I define buffers as dinner guests, distant relatives and benign conversation topics that will hopefully distract the conversation away from me so that all I have to do is smile and pretend I cant speak because my mouth is full with such delicious food! It helps that my brother-in-law likes computers.
So far, my list of buffer topics this Christmas includes:
The Battle of DVD Formats - Who Will Win???
The Asian Economic Giant - Friend or Foe?
How Did You Cook the Turkey This Year - Its Delicious!
What Do I Need To Know About Digital Photography?
I Would Love to Hear About Your Vacation Trip.
XHTML vs. HTML 4.0 - Pros and Cons.
How Is Your Health These Days and What Can You Do About It?
Other - suggestions welcome.
Topics to Avoid or Grin and Bear:
The Weather (I dont know that much about Global Warming.)
Books (I havent read State of Fear. I havent had time to read at all.)
Movies (Id like to see Christmas With the Kranks, but I am so busy with web page work.)
City/State/National Politics, The War (The unresolved Governors election? Rumsfeld? Gosh, Ive been so busy getting my car fixed; I think it has an oil leak.)
Doctors/Health Care/FDA/Social Security (What are COX-2 inhibitors anyway?)
Church/Religion (A friend of mine invited me over on Sunday. She needs help with her computer. Do you know anything about Zip Drives?)
My relatives (my sister married out of my family).
Their relatives (I am not part of their family).
Any topic that makes my brother-in-law look ignorant in front of his kids.
I hope to check that my niece is doing well in school and making friends and leave as soon as I can (Yeah, that turkey sure makes me sleepy).
After that, I plan to get some Chinese take-out comfort food, head home, open a classic, 2004 Boddlo wine and get drunk listening to A Chipmunk Christmas while surfing the web.
I hope you guys have a good weekend. Im sure mine will be fine; its just a PAIN IN THE ASS!
I will be spending Saturday evening with them, stuffing my dignity with turkey and potatoes while listening to doctor hubby expound on the theme of Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition to my nephew, a.k.a. the Prince of Heaven. If it wasnt for my niece and goddaughter, who has managed to maintain some sense of compassion (all she needs is to find a good Asian husband and make babies anyway), I would have saved myself plenty of gift money and headache pills by returning the disdain they have for me.
I have found what I call buffers, are a good way to deal with my sisters family. I define buffers as dinner guests, distant relatives and benign conversation topics that will hopefully distract the conversation away from me so that all I have to do is smile and pretend I cant speak because my mouth is full with such delicious food! It helps that my brother-in-law likes computers.
So far, my list of buffer topics this Christmas includes:
The Battle of DVD Formats - Who Will Win???
The Asian Economic Giant - Friend or Foe?
How Did You Cook the Turkey This Year - Its Delicious!
What Do I Need To Know About Digital Photography?
I Would Love to Hear About Your Vacation Trip.
XHTML vs. HTML 4.0 - Pros and Cons.
How Is Your Health These Days and What Can You Do About It?
Other - suggestions welcome.
Topics to Avoid or Grin and Bear:
The Weather (I dont know that much about Global Warming.)
Books (I havent read State of Fear. I havent had time to read at all.)
Movies (Id like to see Christmas With the Kranks, but I am so busy with web page work.)
City/State/National Politics, The War (The unresolved Governors election? Rumsfeld? Gosh, Ive been so busy getting my car fixed; I think it has an oil leak.)
Doctors/Health Care/FDA/Social Security (What are COX-2 inhibitors anyway?)
Church/Religion (A friend of mine invited me over on Sunday. She needs help with her computer. Do you know anything about Zip Drives?)
My relatives (my sister married out of my family).
Their relatives (I am not part of their family).
Any topic that makes my brother-in-law look ignorant in front of his kids.
I hope to check that my niece is doing well in school and making friends and leave as soon as I can (Yeah, that turkey sure makes me sleepy).
After that, I plan to get some Chinese take-out comfort food, head home, open a classic, 2004 Boddlo wine and get drunk listening to A Chipmunk Christmas while surfing the web.
I hope you guys have a good weekend. Im sure mine will be fine; its just a PAIN IN THE ASS!
its_weaselle:
good luck with those buffers! i am going to my in-laws. sometimes there are my husbands stepsisters/stepbrothers and their offspring. i like to to just watch and listen and make fun of them afterwards with everyone else. 
good amusement! 
hope you have a good weekend!
good amusement! hope you have a good weekend! 
truthwhore:
wow. i feel for you. luckily, my family assumes the best about me, so i don't have to worry much. i'm only starting to realize how conservative parts of my family are. scary. ah well, it's up to the black sheep to corrupt the youngest of the family, right? 