To my knowledge, the calendar is still in motion. I've seen a few of the drawings and am I fucking impressed. Seriously. It's going to be one bad ass year of Pistolita, if you can stand it! I'm really honored, and really excited. My new medical coverage takes over on December 1st, so as soon as that calendar is ready for sales, I'll be able to schedule an appointment with a well qualified doctor to help me with my bagina issues. Yes. bah-gina.
My Thanksgiving was pleasant. Pleasing, in... I walked into my boyfriend's house to find 40 people who I'd met at different times, none of whom I could recall their names, and most of whom gave me akward "she's his girlfriend" hugs. His grandfather came up to us sitting on the couch and said.. "you two are good friends, good friends, i can tell". Rory and I looked at eachother and burst out laughing. Why can't adults admit to themselves that we're fucking? I mean c'mon. It's not like I'm some floosy he brought to thanksgiving dinner. I'm his fucking girlfriend. We've been together for over a year now, and we live together. And we have sex. Lots of sex. Hahaha. Adults are funny.
I've decided in the past few weeks that I'm not going to become a "common law" bride. I'm not going to wait around for 3 years, only to be considered as married, without ACTUALLY being married. It's kind of like the law steps in for you... "oh man.. we can see here, by these records, that you and Rory have been living together for the last 3 years. That's great. Oh, he hasn't proposed yet? Well, how about we just "consider" you guys married, how's that?" No. That's the government doing his job for him. And frankly, I'm not down with that. It's not that I HAVE TO BE MARRIED in the next 3 years to him.. it's just that.. I'd like to know if that's where we're heading. And if not.. then maybe we should consider seeing other people. It sounds a little extreme, but I like to think of it this way....
Pistolita's reasons for wanting to be married..
- i want to know my husband, when i'm young and hot. i want to make sure that the man who decides he's going to be spending the rest of his life with me.. gets a really good few years in, before gravity starts pulling on places that don't look so great when you're 40.
- shared insurance. which is actually a benifit for him. i have health insurance.. soon. and it would benefit my boyfriend to be on my plan too.
- i want to try to know as much about a person as one possibly can. i want to invent new ways to have sex, and find new ways to explore a lover. i want to know my husband inside and out, and vice versa. I want us to walk in dream worlds together, and travel the planet, defy space and time together. That's how connected I want to be with my lover.
- No matter how much I try, I feel like I'm still holding back from giving all of my love to someone, until it's a fucking for sure thing. And even though marriage isn't always a "for sure" thing, it keeps most relationships from crumbling when people come to speed bumps or big bumps in the road. It's a sense of security, that I really need, for some reason, and I seek it.
- I want to know that the person whom I love, and tell my secrets too, and spend my days with, doesn't ever intend on leaving me. I want a partner on my team, who says "fuck yeah, I want to be your partner. Let's ride this life shit out, yo!" I want my husband to be, to be someone who's ambitious, and vivacious, and passionate about life. And who can't imagine pursuing everything he wants to in life, without me.
- I want a mirror for myself. A check point. A best buddy. A team-mate. A co-ninja. A brotherhood. A best friend for forever, and I want them to mean it with sincerity.
Anyone out there in a relationship, where either you, or the other person in the relationship HATES the idea of being married? How do you deal with that? My boyfriend's face turns into a vomiting gesture whenever I mention marriage. I don't even have to be talking about us.. I could be talking about a friend who's married, or celebrities who got married, or married life in general. It makes him want to puke. And sometimes, I just wonder if we can be on the same team for much longer, if this is how he really feels about it.
ANYWAY
Enough. I'm very thankful to be alive. And I must consider that. Not everything is crappy. I want my god-damned civic back. I've had a fucking 1999 Ford Taurus for the last two weeks now, from the rental company, and I want my car so bad. I never realized how much I love that sexy beast. Not only do I loathe EVERYTHING about that Ford shit Taurus, but the color... GREY... they give me GREY.... the lamest color for a vehicle ever. Why don't we live in a world that has flourescent painted cars yet?
besos y pesos,
<3 Pistolita
I should note that some of my favorite things in life are daily events with Mrs. IDGAS like her watching TV with her leaning against me or her falling asleep in my arms every night. The last may be the greatest thing in the world.