pissed

First off this is a warning that these next few sentences are going to be Negative Nancy because that's who woke up in my bed this morning. If you are avoiding her, skip this blog and I promise, I won't tell her you dropped by.
(1)
I just realized that this will be the first holiday season without my ex aka single & alone in 5 years.
queu sad country music.
(2)
I've ALWAYS dreaded Oct-Dec.
Holidayz sucked growing up & by sucked I mean, death, drugs, jailtime, fights, no presents/food etc
(3)
With my ex, I was just starting to let go of some of the anxiety that hits me when I turn that calendar page. We made meals together, got dressed up together, put up stockings for all the pets and decorated the tree/house together. Last year was great.
(4)
refer back to #1
I'm going back to bed. Wake me next year.