pirubix

why am i so sad? why is life so depressing? my breath is but a mere speck of dust in the void tha is time, *sigh. oh well, yougotta deal with wha you got delt. self pity is horrible, but im the only person i got. sure i have friends and family who acted concerned at times, when it doesnt interfere with anything theyre doing, but im always supposed to be there for them, meh, but thas life, im not weak enough to kill myself, but i don have the funds or the skills to get up and go, escape from it all. i bet if i moved away for a month, like totally escaped everyoen i know, not like when i went ot cali, but truly escape, id quit smoking cigs an weed. ahhhh so sad though, its kinda like a tootsie pop, the world will never know. so were to go from here, i know whats behind me, nothin but trouble, but i have no idea whats ahead, in fact, im not to sure what is going on now. i kno wha i need to do, but for some reason i cant bring myself to pull my act together, my body enjoys sleeping to 1 everyday to much, and cant seem to shut down till 5 even if i wake up early. an then thereis the whole school thing, i kno i need to go, i want to go, but shit, i don see how the hell id be able to afford it, specially seeing as how im gona lose my job in a little mor ethen a month, fo rsure this time, cause if i stay any longer i think i really will kill myself. plus i need to get a new car cause mine up and died, why the hell does life suck so much. now i know why christian have god, but thas no good for me, im on my own, for now adn always