pirateracer

There is a god...

Or someone working for Uncle Ray finally got a clue and canned the big morris dick. Ding dong the witch is dead!

Last weekend I found out that I am the luckiest SOB on earth. Somehow I got pulled over by the only cool cop on the planet who happens to be a Greenwood Village cop. I'd had a few and was driving home when the light turned yellow. There was no one else on the road except for the suspicious looking car in the left lane waiting to pull a U, so instead of stopping for the yellow, I hit the gas and ran the yellow/red light. Of course, he pops his cherries and I pull over and park at the Applebees around the corner. He asked if he knew why I got pulled over and I told him that I ran the red. He asked if I had been drinkin and I told him I had a few. So he had me lock my keys in the car and he drove me to the Walmart down the street and called me a cab. Then, the cab was taking hours to show up and I locked my house keys in the car so I called G instead. Some how he heard his phone, which was downstairs in his coat pocket and somehow my sister heard her phone and had a spare set of keys and that was a lesson learned. It could have been worse, one of my sisters hit a deer that night and another of my sisters got rear ended earlier that day and I was the lucky one. My get out of jail free card.

So, this weekend was a lot of fun as well. Saturday day was the going away party for a couple of friends that are heading to Iraq for a year to do the whole private security gig. It was a really cool party and not only did I get to see my bestest girl friend that I haven't see in ages, I also got to meet a bunch of really cool people. There were a bunch of ex-jarheads (like 9 of us) and one of the guys just got commissioned. Another of the guys was on the Seattle JTTF (Joint Terrorist Task Force,) an FBI guy. My friends dad used to be a Force Recon scout/sniper and he's gonna show me how to properly shoot my new rifle. He might go buy one himself after he shoots it because he's gonna love it. I also got two (almost) brand new motorcycle helmets that were going to be thrown away. My friends bike got stolen so she didn't need the helmets anymore. Score!!!

Then I went to Hooters and met the boys for a batchelor party, had a few beers and ate a bunch of wings then headed to the "ballet". Saw lots of boobies and vaginas. Started out at Shotgun's then headed to the Penthouse, alas Gage wasn't working but we still had a good time. Crazy Jim bought the Batchelor special so he was on stage with 5 topless chicks, they stole his shirt and gave him a Penthouse one. He got strangled and slapped with his belt, as usual, but they got him on his hands and knees and rode him around stage. The DJ took the blackmail pic and we got a copy at the end of the night. It is an awesome pic. Fuckin hilarious!!!

Haven't heard yet how the girl did. Danielle had her race in Phoenix this weekend, earlier today actually. I would have been there if the whole going away/batchelor party wasn't happening at the same time. And, ummmm, yeah. my train of thought just got derailed so bye.