Zach, my son, is a Miami fan. I'm a Seminole fan. I tried to wake him up singing "Seminoles beat Miami! Seminoles beat Miami!" I almost got punched in the face.
Ok, so. It's 7 am, and I'm drunk off my ass on rum and coke. I ran out of the rum I bought last week, so I went rummaging through my grandparents bar and found another bottle. Mind you , it was a brand new bottle, been there since AT LEAST the 80's. So I cracked it open and WOAH did it pack a punch.
Either that or I wanted to believe it did and now I'm feeling it. ROCK ON!!
So why so much rum and coke? I talked to Chris last night. He had sent me a myspace message telling me he didn't have my number,"signed, dead inside." I messaged back my number and he called me while I was sleeping (got up at 6pm, back to bed by 6:30pm until shortly after 10pm). I called him back, we talked a bit. He just moved out of his parents house, still working the same job he was a year ago. Asked how I was doing since I since I sounded so well the last time we talked in April. I admitted that I'd hit a brick wall and wasn't doing so well, I said "I guess you were right about me" and he said "no, if I'd been right about you, things would be a lot different."
My brain can only assume that he means we would still be together, which tears me absolutely apart inside. If I hadn't been such a drunk fuck up, just like I am now, we could still be together, and my life would have more meaning. I'd have someone to listen to me unconditionally, love me unconditionally, and eventually want to spend the rest of his life with me.
I want to call him back and ask what dead inside meant, but I know I shouldn't. So, obviously, I will send him a myspace message asking what it meant.
God I fucking miss him. And hearing his voice made it worse.
Ok, so. It's 7 am, and I'm drunk off my ass on rum and coke. I ran out of the rum I bought last week, so I went rummaging through my grandparents bar and found another bottle. Mind you , it was a brand new bottle, been there since AT LEAST the 80's. So I cracked it open and WOAH did it pack a punch.
Either that or I wanted to believe it did and now I'm feeling it. ROCK ON!!
So why so much rum and coke? I talked to Chris last night. He had sent me a myspace message telling me he didn't have my number,"signed, dead inside." I messaged back my number and he called me while I was sleeping (got up at 6pm, back to bed by 6:30pm until shortly after 10pm). I called him back, we talked a bit. He just moved out of his parents house, still working the same job he was a year ago. Asked how I was doing since I since I sounded so well the last time we talked in April. I admitted that I'd hit a brick wall and wasn't doing so well, I said "I guess you were right about me" and he said "no, if I'd been right about you, things would be a lot different."
My brain can only assume that he means we would still be together, which tears me absolutely apart inside. If I hadn't been such a drunk fuck up, just like I am now, we could still be together, and my life would have more meaning. I'd have someone to listen to me unconditionally, love me unconditionally, and eventually want to spend the rest of his life with me.
I want to call him back and ask what dead inside meant, but I know I shouldn't. So, obviously, I will send him a myspace message asking what it meant.
God I fucking miss him. And hearing his voice made it worse.
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And I really hope you can stop talking/messaging Chris. I know you still care about him, but it obviously wasn't meant to be.
Hugs!