pinkfuckermeow

HELLO EVERYONE AND MERRY BELATED XMAS!!!! Those of you who read my last entry and commented on it THANK YOU!!! I ended up spending my XMAS in a HOSPITAL!!!!! This I guess will be the continuation of my LAST ENTRY and an explaination of why my DUMB ASS was in the hospital.....
I finally go ahold of my ex the next day after calling like a mad woman and told him to be at his house in an hour because I was coming to bring the kids so they could get a change of clothes and their meds..... well when I got to his house he was NOT there again and when I called him he did not answer... so I called a good friend of mine and asked her for some advice and she said to take the kids to daycare and try to sort everything out with my ex at that time.... so I am driving to the daycare when I happen to see my ex WALKING on the side of the road????? I picked him up... didn't really say anything because all my little munchkin ears did not need to hear all of that, I proceeded to tell him that I had just called my EX BEST FRIEND (Yes the one that ran off with him and had been my friend for 13 years) (THIS SHOULD ALSO SHOW YOU THAT I WAS COMPLETELY DONE WITH THE BASTARD NOW) and said "Lindsey, I know you just got your car back from Richard but Do you think you could help him out with some transportation today?" She was actually very uhhmmm reluctant when saying "uhmmm welllllllll, I get off work at 4.... but I will call you...." AS TO SAY "FUCK HIM" I am done with him too kinda sound! He asked me what she said and I said she would call me after work. I then asked him if he needed anything from the store before I brought him to his house and of course he said YES!!! So I did and when we finally got to his house I got the kids out and I got them inside and told him to get them together and give them their meds and I would be back later...... Taking the carseats out of the car PISSED him off apparently and We started having a disagreement that TURNED INTO A BIG ASS FIGHT!!! He wanted to go MIA again, I guess because he was like you not going to watch them RIGHT NOW and I was like NO, but I will later!!! I told him He didn't get a "cookie" for tha stunt he pulled last night and I then I said let me give the kids a kiss and I be back later on tonight and will watch them at your house LIKE I SAID I WOULD DO LAST NIGHT WHEN YOU WENT MIA!!!!! He didn't like that and he told me I couldn't say BYE to the kids and fuck me and your a bitch and blah blah blah... ADD whatever curse word you want in this section and it will probally go!!!! He opens the door and starts yelling these lovely thing in front of the kids I TOLD HIM TO STOP!!!! I SAID LOOK AT WHAT THIS IS DOING TO THE KIDS... THEY WERE ALL CRYING and when Desiree' my 5 year old was trying to get past him to get to her mommy he said NO but my DESIREE" and JASMINE has a strong WILL and they waited a minute and BOTH PUSH THROUGH HIS HAND that was blocking them!!! YAY!!!! I hugged them and Told them... NO WORRIES and DON"T CRY MOMMY IS FINE & I WILL CALL YOU IN A MINUTE be good for DADDY and I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!! so I got them to stop SOBBING and CRYING their eyes out and then I said I had to go. I proceeded to LEAVE and was almost at my house when my EX called to tell me EVEN MORE BAD NEWS.... I told him I didn't wanna talk right now because I didn't want to say anything that I would later regret out of hurt or anger or saddness or any other emotion that I was feeling at that moment... BUT HE SAID I NEED TO TELL YOU THIS NOW..... and YOU MIGHT WANT TO SIT DOWN FOR THIS... so here I am driving still almost home and I said look NOT RIGHT NOW PLEASE.. he then said do you want me to tell you face to face or on the phone.... and I said phone ( I was not going to go back to that right now) I pulled over at the side of the road, BUTTERFLY'S SWARMING IN MY STOMACH (and not in a good way) ready to at any moment and I say go ahead.... HE SAYS...
ex: "I got the results of Tatiana back"
me: "What do they say????"
ex: "The doctors say that Tatiana has FRAGLE X SYNDROME"
me: CRYING "What is that????"
ex: "A minut form of Autisem...."
me: "Who all knows about this?"
ex: "just me you and the doctors"
me: "I am going to have to call you back.. I need time to collect all of my thoughts and emotions" so I got off the phone with him and called my friend Traci back she then proceeded to tell me that he had talk to her about this 2 weeks earlier and had asked her if he should tell me or not because it was his FINALS week and he didn't have time to comfort me... she said whatever you do DON'T TELL HER ON THE PHONE!!!!! and he said I won't she is at my house with the kids right now" but he never told me anything... This was his sick and TWISTED GAME to play with me because I was no longer under his spell (Not doing every little thing he wanted me to do) and he wanted to hurt me as much as possible....
Later that night after falling into a DEEP DEPRESSION and sleeping until 8pm I woke up got my roommate came home took my medication... then DRANK and forgot I took my medication and took it AGAIN..... LAMICTAL and ULTRAM... yes AGAIN!!! with VODKA... alot of VODKA... I later found out that.. I took ALOT MORE PILLS and tried to cut my left wrist... all of this I do not remember too much at all, I woke in the hospital the next day in restraints and Later found out that I died and they resestitated me........ I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN.... This is a VERY LONG JOURNAL so I will pick up where I left off tomorrow!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! THANKS FOR BEING SUCH GREAT FRIENDS!!! IT MEANS ALOT!!!!