today i attended the last class of my undergrad degree. i can't believe 5 years boil down to this. i found the class bittersweet at best.
i feel like i really fell into my own this year. it was one of the most challenging years i've had thus far, the ripe old age of (almost) 24, but yet i made so much of myself throughout it. i truly feel the most in my element, prehaps ever. i can see myself as formed, rather than the pink blob that morphs (the social chameleon, if you will).
what frustrates me is the lack of opportunity for real conversation. i want to share myself. yes, my ideas, but also my talents, my personality, and most of all, my interests. mult-faceted as i believe myself to be, so few see me as i am. certainly no one in my family or circle of close friends does. it's quite sad that i feel the truest in this blog, and online, in general.
i have pulled myself together from the nothing that was. finally developped my own... "ness". i don't know. i'm easily influenced by others and since i don't have time for boys/r[nonexistant] roommates/friends, i have worn what *I* like, listened to what *I* like, read what *I * find interesting.
it is not discouraging that i should feel so together, at last. but i do regret that it had to come so late. university is over. surely my adventures in france are ahead, and yet i do wish i would have made friends who share my interests. i suppose it was hard since i wasn't sure what areas they encompassed, really.
and so, here i am. together and finished, all at once. i just wish i didn't stand alone [not to be mistaken for 'lonely', i merely wish to share this me, whom i like.]
i will end today with a mish-mash of photographs. what does trebek call it? potpouri? haha.
beatles day? yah.
hah. see?
skull bag? check. 80s wool elf boots? check check.
my "last day of class" outfit
i told you i work out in underwear. that shirt is just for show.
and if you're bored, do check out my brand spanking new album of bruises. all my own, of course. there are also other photos that i did not post.
speaking of trebek...
Sean Connery: It looks like this is my lucky day! I'll take "The Rapists" for $200.
Alex Trebek: That's "Therapists." That's "Therapists," not "The Rapists." Let's skip "Therapists" and try "Household Objects", for $400. And the answer is, "You usually drink water out of one of these." [ Sean Connery buzzes in ] Sean Connery.
Sean Connery: A leather glove!
i feel like i really fell into my own this year. it was one of the most challenging years i've had thus far, the ripe old age of (almost) 24, but yet i made so much of myself throughout it. i truly feel the most in my element, prehaps ever. i can see myself as formed, rather than the pink blob that morphs (the social chameleon, if you will).
what frustrates me is the lack of opportunity for real conversation. i want to share myself. yes, my ideas, but also my talents, my personality, and most of all, my interests. mult-faceted as i believe myself to be, so few see me as i am. certainly no one in my family or circle of close friends does. it's quite sad that i feel the truest in this blog, and online, in general.
i have pulled myself together from the nothing that was. finally developped my own... "ness". i don't know. i'm easily influenced by others and since i don't have time for boys/r[nonexistant] roommates/friends, i have worn what *I* like, listened to what *I* like, read what *I * find interesting.
it is not discouraging that i should feel so together, at last. but i do regret that it had to come so late. university is over. surely my adventures in france are ahead, and yet i do wish i would have made friends who share my interests. i suppose it was hard since i wasn't sure what areas they encompassed, really.
and so, here i am. together and finished, all at once. i just wish i didn't stand alone [not to be mistaken for 'lonely', i merely wish to share this me, whom i like.]
i will end today with a mish-mash of photographs. what does trebek call it? potpouri? haha.
beatles day? yah.
hah. see?
skull bag? check. 80s wool elf boots? check check.
my "last day of class" outfit
i told you i work out in underwear. that shirt is just for show.
and if you're bored, do check out my brand spanking new album of bruises. all my own, of course. there are also other photos that i did not post.
speaking of trebek...
Sean Connery: It looks like this is my lucky day! I'll take "The Rapists" for $200.
Alex Trebek: That's "Therapists." That's "Therapists," not "The Rapists." Let's skip "Therapists" and try "Household Objects", for $400. And the answer is, "You usually drink water out of one of these." [ Sean Connery buzzes in ] Sean Connery.
Sean Connery: A leather glove!
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Do I ever know what you meant about the alone-ness. I still don't have a handle on how to find worthy adversaries in London. If I had to sum up my current mental state in a t-shirt, it would say "I am fucking cool, are you?" on the front and "START IMPRESSING ME THX" on the back.
(Which, um, might go a long way towards explaining why I'm feeling a bit alone these days. Yeah. Not a good t-shirt.)