pica_pica

Easy Peasey Lemon Squeezy.

Whatever that means.

Its domestic day for the pica. Im usually ok lately. I guess more to do with the fact that I am generally just trying to not think about the things I cant change. Sounds like pretty much common sense, but its something easier said than done.

Lately, however, Ive been more ok than not, and more not thinking about it than stewing. And stew I do. Makes me a bit angry, mixed with the sad, so its a good thing for me to not think about it and concentrate on my original mindset from 9 months ago, when I thought that the extremely difficult thing I was about to do was going to make everybodys life so much happier. When I was so sure it was the right and noble thing.

Then little things like what just happened bring it all up to the surface again.
I was cleaning up the kitchen in preparation to turn it into a disaster zone again, (recipe to follow) and I decided to wash the stainless steel container that holds my wooden spoons, ladles, spatulas etc. As I pulled all the instruments out from inside it, I saw a red reflection hugging the mirror finish of the inside wall.

what the.?

Peering inside, I see a red Christmassy sticker on the bottom of the container.

I had a habit of taking the gift tag from the wrapping of the present, and placing it somehow with the gift so that I would remember who gave me what when we got back home here to this apartment on the 27th to unpack. I guess I never noticed that I had left that tag in there when I originally put that container on the kitchen counter.
I reached in and pulled at it, the tape holding it to the bottom had grown somewhat hard over the last 16 months and it didnt come up easy.

Its a small card, red with gold flowers. I open it

Merry Christmas Shaun!
Love mum

Stuff like that is the pause button. Or I'm more like a digitized loop of a skipping mpeg. Freezing me in the spot for a couple of seconds while I stare at it.

Cant even really nail the emotion. Its just something painful and enigmatic inside me. I suppose because it stems from something so unresolved. I loved that woman, and never would have thought that my breaking up with her daughter would have so violently removed her from my life. I guess with the loss of my own moms, all those years of having her in my life really did make her mum. Im not going to think about my latest Christmas though, even though I think I just did.

I threw the card in the garbage, and continued on with the dishes.

I am making up a recipe, sorta, and I think its going to be good. All the vegetarians in the crowd might want to avert their eyes.
Vegetarian viewer discretion is advised.

2 pound boneless blade roast, cut into 1 inch cubes.
3 tablespoons flour
3 tablespoons butter
8 slices bacon, chopped into inch chunks
4 sticks celery, roughly chopped
1 large onion, roughly chopped
2 carrots, roughly chopped
2 parsnips, roughly chopped

1 egg, beaten

2 cans stewed tomatoes
4 cans Guinness
Pie crust for 2 9 inch pie shells(frozen or if you are hardcore, make it yourself. (youre on your own there))
Sprig of fresh rosemary
One bay leaf
Fresh thyme

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper.


Open one can of the Guinness, pour into 22 oz pint glass making sure to stare at that cool looking brown waterfall effect. Drink some, being sure to keep the stupid looking got milk? moustache.

Mix the flour with the salt and pepper, and then dredge the chunks of bovine flesh in it. (not the pig)
Drink more Guinness.

Then, in a large dutch oven or big pot, melt the butter and brown the meat cubes with the bacon until browned on all sides, being sure to keep the pint of Guinness in your left hand, sipping freely while flipping the cubes with your right.

Add the chopped onion and fry for another minute until the onion starts to turn translucent. Drink some more Guinness.
Add the celery, carrots and parsnips, stirring over medium-high for another 4 or 5 minutes. You should be almost finished that first Guinness by now, if not, chug it. Open the second can of Guinness, pour it in its entirety over the mixture.
Add the 2 cans of tomatoes, the herbs and bring to a boil.

Turn down heat, and simmer for at least 2 hours, possibly 3. (thats where the other 2 cans of Guinness come in)
If it gets too thick, add more Guinness.

While that is simmering and making all your neighbors totally jealous, (be sure to open your apartment door from time to time, waving it like a fan to ensure even distribution of the aroma)
you take your pie crusts, and bake them in 2 9 pie plates.
Once the Guinness / meat mixture is done (the beef should be totally tender) pour into the two baked pie shells, cover the tops with the unbaked half of the pie pastry, sqishing down around the sides to seal, score the tops with cool looking criss cross patterns and brush with the beaten egg.
Bake in a preheated 325 degree oven for about 10 to 15 minutes (just till the top is browned.)