well, let's get that post way the hell and gone already.
I found some inspiration today. I don't know where it was... coolheart asked me what motivated me to finally get around to tackling all this stuff around here and all I could come up with was: realizing I didn't have any motivation is what motivated me. I have no idea why that made sense, but it does. I am just finishing up a $25.00 laundry assault on everything I own. YAY smellin good 'round here.
ok, new story.
I ended up on an impromptu date on Monday night. At least, I guess it was a date.
I hear the word date and I dont relate. I tell myself Ive never actually been on a date. A date to me is something I see on TV, where both people are preparing for this big event, getting ready for two days and buying a new shirt and getting a facial, a manicure, a pedicure even. Hell, Maybe the woman of the two even goes and gets this stuff done. Then hours before the scheduled pickup time, both people are nervous and primping and anxious
Even the idea of asking somebody out on a date seems foreign to me, as though that process should also be covered by an unease, insecurity and danger.
I hear the term dating as in I am dating a couple of different people right now and I dont relate to that either. I just really dont think I have been on a date.
Ok, well thats not entirely true. I dont think Ive been on a date since I was about 16 years old and I took Norma Ramsbottom to the steakhouse for dinner in Calgary.
She lived out in Hanna, and I had met her earlier that year when my Friend (her cousin) Derrick and I had gone goose hunting out there. (yeah, I grew up with guns. I think this was my last hunting trip ever.) We had stayed at his Uncles place, and Norma had her bedroom in the basement. She was 17 (an older woman!). It was a cold September then, and the goose season was in full swing. We got there Friday night, planning to get up early Saturday and Sunday to go hit the birds. Well, she was pretty damned cute, and super friendly. She took me out driving that Friday night, We left Hanna and hit some backroads somewhere out of town. We ended up in some farmers field, and she ended up high centering the truck on some hill and we were stuck. Stuck in the middle of nowhere listening to Howard Jones and watching the northern lights. We talked a lot but didnt kiss, and at around 3:30 in the morning, she realized that she just left the emergency brake on. We werent stuck at all.
Well, this was about 7 months later, and she was in town in Calgary visiting family. I found this out and after about 3 hours of picking up and hanging up the phone, I finally called her cousins place and essentially blurted out in one very long runon sentence that I would like to take her out to dinner. She said yes.
I was nervous, I wore my new leather tie the skinny burgundy one, I had a black button up shirt on and my new big blue and baggy pants from Le Chateau. My hair was crimped and big, with bleached bangs hanging low down over one eye, which of course had the slightest amount of black eyeliner on.
I brushed my teeth 3 times before leaving the apartment (I was living on my own by then), and sprayed just a bit too much Drakkar Noir on my chest and neck. I jumped into my little blue Mazda GLC hatchback and my heart was in my throat the entire way up to the northwest to pick her up.
Well, long story short, that was a date to me. I was nervous through most of it, clumsy, quiet, and half way through dinner as I was trying so hard to cut my steak properly, I didnt realize that my plate was slowly sliding towards me, over the edge of the table. When the pressure of my knife finally crossed the threshold of the tables edge, I vaulted the entire plate of steak, potatoes, sauce and vegetables all over the front of my shirt, and what didnt end up on the floor was on my lap.
I just sat there wishing I knew that magic trick about immediately disappearing, and I didnt know what to do. I looked up at her and she started to laugh, which actually made me feel a lot better. I started laughing as well, and the waiter came and cleaned it up. They even brought me another steak.
I lost my virginity to her later that night, in the passenger seat of my Mazda GLC, in an empty parking lot of an elementary school, so I guess the steak thing wasnt too bad.
Anyways, thats a date to me, and I really dont think Ive been on one since.
Until Monday night, that is.
I ended up down in gastown after losing a battle with a craving for a Belfast sandwich and a Pint of Guiness at the Irish Heather. Course, I get there, and its closed due to the holidays.
I got a call from Umalina, who I had not seen since that day way back in November when I saw her for sushi. (I think that December was the shit storm I was wondering about that day).
Well she has since moved down into the gastown area, so I suggest we meet up for a drink since its so close by her place. She agrees and heads down to characters to meet me.
(See? That is just so NOT date like to me, thats just meeting for a drink. Is that a date?).
Well, let me say that was not a fun time. Hell yeah, shes attractive, I kept thinking that while I was watching her talk, but then I began to realize that watching her talk was about all I could do. Everytime I opened my mouth to respond or add to or just acknowledge what she was saying, it was like she didnt even hear my voice. She would seriously just keep talking overtop of the beginning of my sentences.
Ok I thought, maybe its just this conversation Ill let her go on and I wont say anything.
It never stopped. It was like I was watching a movie where it was super obvious that one of the two characters had been superimposed into the scene later, because it was apparent that the first actor couldnt tell that the other one was there. She wasnt even looking directly at him.
Shouldnt the director have noticed that? Shouldnt he have corrected where she was looking?
Well, we sat there for a couple of pints, me cut out of a silent film with a little blue outline and her talking. I did keep trying to get something in, but honestly, she never responded to anything I said. She just kept talking.
We were getting hungry, and instead of ordering there at the restaurant, we headed back to her apartment.
Really nice place. All brick walled, fireplace, great view, floor to ceiling windows. We walked in and she turned on the TV, sat down on the couch and I sat down beside her. She flipped channels until she found sienfeld, and she grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge, and went to check her email or something.
She sat back down beside me and we talked about her new job, we talked about the two other guys shes seeing, and I was able to squeeze in a suggestion that we order some food. She directs me to her computer to find some Chinese food menus.
Its strange, I can tell she likes me, she says shes been trying for the last two months to finally see me, and she seemed quite happy all afternoon, but on the other hand, its like I dont exist.
That was starting to kinda get to me a little bit, but I just dont date so I wasnt sure if this was extremely odd or not.
The other thing that kinda worried me a bit is that 2 months ago, I covered the sushi bill. This time around, I covered the drinks bill from the restaurant, the cab fare from the restaurant, the beer we picked up on the way to her apartment, and I was pretty sure I was about to be covering the Chinese food bill when it showed up as well.
Dont get me wrong, I totally dont mind covering the bill, but Im not of the school where just because I am a guy its my responsibility by default. I think its something that should be decided upon somehow.. but again. I dont date, so what do I know?
I am old fashioned in a lot of ways, and sometimes I really groove on the idea of treating that special someone to a really nice night out, but well you get my point.
Well, I finally find the Chinese restaurant that I usually order from, and we call in an order, its going to come to around $40.00. Once I get up from her computer chair, she takes my place and opens up MSN messenger.
I go back to the couch and Sienfeld is talking about whether or not his dates breasts are real. He wants Elaine to go into the sauna at the gym and find out if this womans breasts are real or not.
Fuck that, I think, Elaine, why dont you come over and find out if this chick is actually real or not or maybe its me that is still just superimposed?
Umalina is chatting now, I look up towards her computer desk, and she has the msn chat window slid over to the right so that her head is blocking it from my view.
Ok, whatever, Ive hammered a couple of quick messages out in my time. This is no big deal.
15 minutes later, Im watching Kramer trying to get some sort of death deal on an airline ticket for george. One of Umalinas cats is on my lap, shes still chatting on MSN, and Im frantically making hand signals at Kramer to get me a ticket too. I wouldnt mind a flight about now. He didnt seem to notice me. Hmph, nothing different there tonight. I think .
I finally get up and go use the washroom. When I come back and sit down, shes still chatting.
ok I think. This is actually kinda rude. Should I say something? Or is it just so blatantly rude that she should just realize? I bet I could get up, put my boots on and walk out of here, and she wouldnt even notice
With that thought, I walk to the front door and get my Daytons. Come back to the couch and Im not being quiet about it, I plunk them down in front of me, shes still at the keyboard. Clickity clickity tap tap. I put my one boot on, lace it up. Click click. Put the other one on, stand up and walk into the kitchen to retrieve my coat. Clickity click click. Then I just walk down the hallway towards the door, and I leave.
As I got down to the street, I see a small blue hatchback pull up slowly outside of her building. An asian guy is driving and he appears to be scanning the addresses of the buildings. As I walk past his car, I see a big brown paper bag sitting on the passenger seat. He glances at me as I walk by, I smile at him, give him a nod, and keep on truckin.
I walked up to the Railway, had a quick pint in the back, but I think I really wasnt in the mood to be out, so I walked home.
When I got in, I gave my mouse a kick to bring my screen back up. Shes still online with MSN so I pop open a message window to her.
I left I type, hit enter. Just incase she hadnt noticed yet.
On a completely unrelated note. If anybody has any information about how I could approach something to be involved "hands on" with anything regarding the Tsunami rebuild, please let me know. I would so go.
I found some inspiration today. I don't know where it was... coolheart asked me what motivated me to finally get around to tackling all this stuff around here and all I could come up with was: realizing I didn't have any motivation is what motivated me. I have no idea why that made sense, but it does. I am just finishing up a $25.00 laundry assault on everything I own. YAY smellin good 'round here.
ok, new story.
I ended up on an impromptu date on Monday night. At least, I guess it was a date.
I hear the word date and I dont relate. I tell myself Ive never actually been on a date. A date to me is something I see on TV, where both people are preparing for this big event, getting ready for two days and buying a new shirt and getting a facial, a manicure, a pedicure even. Hell, Maybe the woman of the two even goes and gets this stuff done. Then hours before the scheduled pickup time, both people are nervous and primping and anxious
Even the idea of asking somebody out on a date seems foreign to me, as though that process should also be covered by an unease, insecurity and danger.
I hear the term dating as in I am dating a couple of different people right now and I dont relate to that either. I just really dont think I have been on a date.
Ok, well thats not entirely true. I dont think Ive been on a date since I was about 16 years old and I took Norma Ramsbottom to the steakhouse for dinner in Calgary.
She lived out in Hanna, and I had met her earlier that year when my Friend (her cousin) Derrick and I had gone goose hunting out there. (yeah, I grew up with guns. I think this was my last hunting trip ever.) We had stayed at his Uncles place, and Norma had her bedroom in the basement. She was 17 (an older woman!). It was a cold September then, and the goose season was in full swing. We got there Friday night, planning to get up early Saturday and Sunday to go hit the birds. Well, she was pretty damned cute, and super friendly. She took me out driving that Friday night, We left Hanna and hit some backroads somewhere out of town. We ended up in some farmers field, and she ended up high centering the truck on some hill and we were stuck. Stuck in the middle of nowhere listening to Howard Jones and watching the northern lights. We talked a lot but didnt kiss, and at around 3:30 in the morning, she realized that she just left the emergency brake on. We werent stuck at all.
Well, this was about 7 months later, and she was in town in Calgary visiting family. I found this out and after about 3 hours of picking up and hanging up the phone, I finally called her cousins place and essentially blurted out in one very long runon sentence that I would like to take her out to dinner. She said yes.
I was nervous, I wore my new leather tie the skinny burgundy one, I had a black button up shirt on and my new big blue and baggy pants from Le Chateau. My hair was crimped and big, with bleached bangs hanging low down over one eye, which of course had the slightest amount of black eyeliner on.
I brushed my teeth 3 times before leaving the apartment (I was living on my own by then), and sprayed just a bit too much Drakkar Noir on my chest and neck. I jumped into my little blue Mazda GLC hatchback and my heart was in my throat the entire way up to the northwest to pick her up.
Well, long story short, that was a date to me. I was nervous through most of it, clumsy, quiet, and half way through dinner as I was trying so hard to cut my steak properly, I didnt realize that my plate was slowly sliding towards me, over the edge of the table. When the pressure of my knife finally crossed the threshold of the tables edge, I vaulted the entire plate of steak, potatoes, sauce and vegetables all over the front of my shirt, and what didnt end up on the floor was on my lap.
I just sat there wishing I knew that magic trick about immediately disappearing, and I didnt know what to do. I looked up at her and she started to laugh, which actually made me feel a lot better. I started laughing as well, and the waiter came and cleaned it up. They even brought me another steak.
I lost my virginity to her later that night, in the passenger seat of my Mazda GLC, in an empty parking lot of an elementary school, so I guess the steak thing wasnt too bad.
Anyways, thats a date to me, and I really dont think Ive been on one since.
Until Monday night, that is.
I ended up down in gastown after losing a battle with a craving for a Belfast sandwich and a Pint of Guiness at the Irish Heather. Course, I get there, and its closed due to the holidays.
I got a call from Umalina, who I had not seen since that day way back in November when I saw her for sushi. (I think that December was the shit storm I was wondering about that day).
Well she has since moved down into the gastown area, so I suggest we meet up for a drink since its so close by her place. She agrees and heads down to characters to meet me.
(See? That is just so NOT date like to me, thats just meeting for a drink. Is that a date?).
Well, let me say that was not a fun time. Hell yeah, shes attractive, I kept thinking that while I was watching her talk, but then I began to realize that watching her talk was about all I could do. Everytime I opened my mouth to respond or add to or just acknowledge what she was saying, it was like she didnt even hear my voice. She would seriously just keep talking overtop of the beginning of my sentences.
Ok I thought, maybe its just this conversation Ill let her go on and I wont say anything.
It never stopped. It was like I was watching a movie where it was super obvious that one of the two characters had been superimposed into the scene later, because it was apparent that the first actor couldnt tell that the other one was there. She wasnt even looking directly at him.
Shouldnt the director have noticed that? Shouldnt he have corrected where she was looking?
Well, we sat there for a couple of pints, me cut out of a silent film with a little blue outline and her talking. I did keep trying to get something in, but honestly, she never responded to anything I said. She just kept talking.
We were getting hungry, and instead of ordering there at the restaurant, we headed back to her apartment.
Really nice place. All brick walled, fireplace, great view, floor to ceiling windows. We walked in and she turned on the TV, sat down on the couch and I sat down beside her. She flipped channels until she found sienfeld, and she grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge, and went to check her email or something.
She sat back down beside me and we talked about her new job, we talked about the two other guys shes seeing, and I was able to squeeze in a suggestion that we order some food. She directs me to her computer to find some Chinese food menus.
Its strange, I can tell she likes me, she says shes been trying for the last two months to finally see me, and she seemed quite happy all afternoon, but on the other hand, its like I dont exist.
That was starting to kinda get to me a little bit, but I just dont date so I wasnt sure if this was extremely odd or not.
The other thing that kinda worried me a bit is that 2 months ago, I covered the sushi bill. This time around, I covered the drinks bill from the restaurant, the cab fare from the restaurant, the beer we picked up on the way to her apartment, and I was pretty sure I was about to be covering the Chinese food bill when it showed up as well.
Dont get me wrong, I totally dont mind covering the bill, but Im not of the school where just because I am a guy its my responsibility by default. I think its something that should be decided upon somehow.. but again. I dont date, so what do I know?
I am old fashioned in a lot of ways, and sometimes I really groove on the idea of treating that special someone to a really nice night out, but well you get my point.
Well, I finally find the Chinese restaurant that I usually order from, and we call in an order, its going to come to around $40.00. Once I get up from her computer chair, she takes my place and opens up MSN messenger.
I go back to the couch and Sienfeld is talking about whether or not his dates breasts are real. He wants Elaine to go into the sauna at the gym and find out if this womans breasts are real or not.
Fuck that, I think, Elaine, why dont you come over and find out if this chick is actually real or not or maybe its me that is still just superimposed?
Umalina is chatting now, I look up towards her computer desk, and she has the msn chat window slid over to the right so that her head is blocking it from my view.
Ok, whatever, Ive hammered a couple of quick messages out in my time. This is no big deal.
15 minutes later, Im watching Kramer trying to get some sort of death deal on an airline ticket for george. One of Umalinas cats is on my lap, shes still chatting on MSN, and Im frantically making hand signals at Kramer to get me a ticket too. I wouldnt mind a flight about now. He didnt seem to notice me. Hmph, nothing different there tonight. I think .
I finally get up and go use the washroom. When I come back and sit down, shes still chatting.
ok I think. This is actually kinda rude. Should I say something? Or is it just so blatantly rude that she should just realize? I bet I could get up, put my boots on and walk out of here, and she wouldnt even notice
With that thought, I walk to the front door and get my Daytons. Come back to the couch and Im not being quiet about it, I plunk them down in front of me, shes still at the keyboard. Clickity clickity tap tap. I put my one boot on, lace it up. Click click. Put the other one on, stand up and walk into the kitchen to retrieve my coat. Clickity click click. Then I just walk down the hallway towards the door, and I leave.
As I got down to the street, I see a small blue hatchback pull up slowly outside of her building. An asian guy is driving and he appears to be scanning the addresses of the buildings. As I walk past his car, I see a big brown paper bag sitting on the passenger seat. He glances at me as I walk by, I smile at him, give him a nod, and keep on truckin.
I walked up to the Railway, had a quick pint in the back, but I think I really wasnt in the mood to be out, so I walked home.
When I got in, I gave my mouse a kick to bring my screen back up. Shes still online with MSN so I pop open a message window to her.
I left I type, hit enter. Just incase she hadnt noticed yet.
On a completely unrelated note. If anybody has any information about how I could approach something to be involved "hands on" with anything regarding the Tsunami rebuild, please let me know. I would so go.
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The book I have been reading on Haiku that I've been enjoying is Zen Wave: Basho's Haiku and Zen by Robert Aitken, I picked it up in a Chapters. It is good because it includes a poetic translation, a straight translation and the original japanese in romanji. Romanji is our alphabet. Then the Roshi Aitken goes into some of the linguistic elements and further into a discussion of the meaning of the poem for a student of Zen.