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photo_obscura

United Kingdom

Member Since 2003

Followers 24 Following 10

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Thursday Mar 06, 2003

Mar 6, 2003
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Sketches, sketches, sketches- I swear these sketchbooks are endless, like I swear some demon has made them in such a way that I will never get to the end of any of them, and thus they will be half empty come submission date. I guess I can cruise by on the strength of some of the other stuff in my portfolio like my contes, a few good paintings and my photography.

I think my boyfriend is going to have to go through all the stuff I photographes in Ontario and sort them because I was going for a while of just taking snaps of everything in close-up- just trying to capture an endless library of textures and surfaces. I have some boss images of abandoned old farm machinery and old, burnt out rusted cars that take on a totally alien quality somehow, I started screwing around with not being too obsessive about focusing everything and that got me some really great ambiguous stuff... okay so laterally I was also shooting cute little raccoon babies- but can you blame me? They may make shit-scarey noises in the night, but who can resist those sweet little faces?

So lots of drawing today, amidst which I took Iain out for lunch to treat him- I think he's been sort of bummed out lately but isn't saying why- and I hate never knowing how to brace asking him without getting his guard up. He's one of those people who likes to deal with anything negative he's feeling by giving himself an eardrum or two of Sonic Youth or Nick Cave and on occasion Nick DRAKE and just wallowing his way slowly out of it rather than talking it over, and that's okay- but it can cause... well, friction.

So artistically I progressed... baby-steps. Ugh. One of those days- I'm so bored with the repetition and monotony of some of the tedious stuff I'm having to do for my portfolio just because I HAVE to show that I can draw x-number of different things in different ways. I'm missing photography and having the time to do that...

Hmm. What do you do when the days start bleeding into each othewr with very little division between each? I don't so much feel like the movie 'Groundhog Day' (uy) so much, more i just feel this strong, occasionally overpowering sense of enneyeux laced with doom about a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.

I think I'm becoming a drag to my boyfriend- or at least I worry that I might be, and crap- Thinking like this is what got me LOSING my love once before because I made myself so inaccesable to the poor guy- I don't want to do that again. I can't do that again.

And I start my new job tomorrow- no comment.

Oh well, at least we get Buffy in twenty minutes which means only one thing- sexual inneundos about Alyson Hannigan galkore! Woo hoo!

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