phoenixbane

You know, any living creature can only take so much stress (deviation from the norm) before the breaking point occurs. One would presume that as things happen gradually and one developes a tolerance that the line is gradually pushed further and further back. Well One would be mistaken. The line only goes so far then refuses to move more despite what the environment does. This line, so simply destructive, so obviously subtle. When will this end? What will become then? I reach for salvation and draw back shards of a shattered core. I reach for peace and find only chaos. I struggle on despite my wear, I pull myself together (to some sort of degree) despite the tear. I am bitter. There's an interesting song by Soul Asylum called bittersweet heart... first elipses this post, go me... doh... Today, tomorrow, the day after, the day before, all run together become just a series of events of a tortured existance. Cruel Fate, you mock me, you beat me, you destroy me, but I'm still running, Im still here, despite it all. I may break, I may snap, I am already broken to a large degree. Selflishly walking through killing the angels, picking and choosing to screw all of us one by one. I have no nightmares I can recall, nor would I need them, this reality is nightmarish enough. Burdens upon burdens of a weakened soul, yet there is always more to add and more strength to be taken away by others, I recluse just to find that I weaken myself in doing so. I open up, just to be broken more and hurt. There is no middle ground, there is no compromise. I must be brave and reshape, be strong and fight on, be honorable and do what's right. Childishly ancient laments of a broken soul, nothing more, nothing less.