Do you believe in yourself? Do you have dreams and believe you'll accomplish all of them before you're too old? Do you believe that anything is within your grasp as long as you try enough to get it?
So my intention is to go to Montreal tonight on the recommendation of a T train operator. I went to CT and kayaked and now i'm back in Nick's place, stalling. It would be the first place i would go where i don't know anyone and don't have that safety net to fall back on...
I've fallen back on safety nets every step of the way on this trip. That combined with some other things going through my head have really plunged me into depression... Now i'm just kinda... I dunno. I'm not at rock bottom anymore, but i'm not on my manic high either. I'm in limbo again. Need to make a decision.
umm. soooo. i have to go. cuz sitting here is the cowardly thing to do.
I know from an outsiders perspective, the things that i struggle with are so childish and trivial, but for all that i've got in this life, there are some things that i never learned how to do. And those things keep me from doing anything and everything I really want to. And when i really think i've got it figured out, it occurs to me that I'm not changing myself, i'm just changing things around me to feel like something has changed.
So i'm a bit torn. Part of me wants to ask everyone for simple moral and emotional support, but the other part of me thinks that's exactly what i need not to be doing. So when i seem desperate and lonely and like i'm obviously just dying for attention, maybe it's best you don't give me what i need, like the response my last thread got.
It's very very confusing not being able to trust your own emotions. Maybe i know myself all too well.
Do you believe in yourself?
So my intention is to go to Montreal tonight on the recommendation of a T train operator. I went to CT and kayaked and now i'm back in Nick's place, stalling. It would be the first place i would go where i don't know anyone and don't have that safety net to fall back on...
I've fallen back on safety nets every step of the way on this trip. That combined with some other things going through my head have really plunged me into depression... Now i'm just kinda... I dunno. I'm not at rock bottom anymore, but i'm not on my manic high either. I'm in limbo again. Need to make a decision.
umm. soooo. i have to go. cuz sitting here is the cowardly thing to do.
I know from an outsiders perspective, the things that i struggle with are so childish and trivial, but for all that i've got in this life, there are some things that i never learned how to do. And those things keep me from doing anything and everything I really want to. And when i really think i've got it figured out, it occurs to me that I'm not changing myself, i'm just changing things around me to feel like something has changed.
So i'm a bit torn. Part of me wants to ask everyone for simple moral and emotional support, but the other part of me thinks that's exactly what i need not to be doing. So when i seem desperate and lonely and like i'm obviously just dying for attention, maybe it's best you don't give me what i need, like the response my last thread got.
It's very very confusing not being able to trust your own emotions. Maybe i know myself all too well.
Do you believe in yourself?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I think your experience with alcohol was a blessing in disguise. Stay away from it. (this coming from a bartender. I know.)
I quit smoking for 7 or 8 months before, but then my best friend tried to commit suicide and I started up again. But he is now pretty mentally stable, it's been a year since then (with several weeks of quitting intersperced). So, I'm not celebrating until a year goes by. But, so far, so good. One day at a time. Always.
The things you are going through are neither childish nor trivial. We all go through them. It's just that, we have to go through this stuff alone most of the time. We learn better that way.
cheers, doll.