philomela

Pabst blue, dance dance revolution (ha!), birthday cake, diner food, a cemetery walk and a good friend.

It does not take a lot to make me happy.

being home is stranger than strange. i'm not thrilled with the idea of staying here for the entire summer. i've come to a point in my life where i have no real home - and that's how i like it. i do miss my lover, portland....

i applied to a job at a rich kid camp in the mountains. they contacted me less than 24...
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Mary's new set? Awesome! I like it a whole lot.

I haven't had consistent access to the internet - which is my excuse for not being on the site so much. It's also the end of the semester and I'm in over my pretty little head with insanities. But here I am.

Standing and breathing.

I found out today, that my ex-boyfriend of two weeks has already fucked someone else... and was anticipating fucking said person before we even broke up.

After many hours of discussing how this wasn't about meeting other people for him; that it was about him being alone for a while.

He got the diva treatment. A character I executed with perfection.


But now I just...
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I just had a really happy day.

Wilco is coming to Tanglewood this summer. A Prairie Home Companion is coming to Tanglewood this summer.
My schedule for next semester is going to be phenomenal. My hopes are high for getting into Stonecoast. I'm going with a friend to a documentary/talk tonight.

I'm a ball of fucking sunshine for a change. Blame the weather, the nearing...
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i'm really diggin' on Fractal's article in the culture section of SG news, Fatalistic Love.

it's written in a really fun way; i can imagine the article as a conversation with a girlfriend.

my stonecoast application is finished with nine days to spare. go. me. i really really really want to get into the program. it's a week-long workshop program for fiction/poetry/memoir writers through USM....
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i move out today. my room is bare and it makes me a little bit sad, but i'm rolling with the punches - because in five minutes i'm certain my feelings will change. my guess is the next thing to come is anger.... and then... probably sexual frustration.

i'm moving across the bridge, into a large house with a family that's familiar with students coming...
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i have to rant about it. i just fucking have to.

the entire time i was gone, he did not call once, e-mail once, he did not anything once.
i come home and he has disappeared to boston for the weekend; hiding from me and my too-intense, unrestrained EMOTIONS undoubtedly.

i know we are almost to the end of our path of destruction, but i...
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My blog-absence has been due to my absolutely insane vacation schedule. No matter how much "free time" I have, it becomes instantly filled. I bounced from Maine, to Boston to a couple different locations in New York in four days and I am still running, running.

I'm afraid if I stop, everything will catch up with me and I really don't want that to happen...
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i can barely grasp it, but i've broken up with my boyfriend. and not for lack of love; for lack of functioning. we just can't seem to make it alright, despite how much we do care for one another. i'll be here with him for six more weeks, which is.... going to be.... awful.

but. i'm trying to remind myself at great frequency that i...
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