Monday Jan 07, 2008

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I said, this year would be different. 2008 is going to be a good year and so far, I have no complaints. Really. It's just that, i have been trying to get myself out of a bad situation for a long time now. Things at work have been hell, I mean brutal. I have spent about half a year now stressing out or crying out of anger. Im constantly on the defense, I don't even recognize myself anymore. It's such an absurd work environment, people constantly scheming against you, trying to hurt you...then make you look crazy if you try to stand up for yourself and call their bullshit. I go into work and automaticlly shut down, I become secretive and I act guarded around people I should feel comfortable around for fear that they might stab me in the back. This behavior is draining....im not this way. I work to hard and am a wonderful person. I just can't fathom why people would want to treat another person like this or make them feel the way I feel? I can't stand when people talk about me, let me re-phrase that...If it's true, speak to your hearts content, but if it's not...then why do it!!?? I guess maybe that's where I can be a little to sensative...
I figure if I can learn to accept that people do this and WILL do it when Im not around....I'll be ok
I did put a transfer in for another department.....pray that I get it, because im about to flip my shit. robot
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
stroudocaster:
HOLY CRAP! I never thought of it that way! 2010, who knows what 2010 will have in store for us? Flying Cars Maybe? Robots? *Fingers Crossed*
Also, good luck on the new job. I know what its like working in an environment like that, and nobody deserves that type of treatment, but especially not a nice girl like you! mad
sorchablue:
the way I figured it awhile ago... if someone isn't comfortable with themselves they will find a way to bring everyone else down around them to their self imposed level, even if only in their heads or through making shit up behind other people's backs when there is no truth that they can find to suit their needs. these are people who may be decent acquaintances, people that you can be pleasant with when around, but you will never be close, because they won't allow it by virtue of their present nature. then there are those who don't need to talk about you, who just enjoy or dislike you as you are and be satisfied. these are people who you count as friends. who I count as friends. even if I don't like them or get along with them, they still have something I can respect- honesty with themselves, and comfort.
I hate that so many people you have found around you at work turn out to be the uncomfortable ones who play bullshit games. I really hope this transfer happens soon and you find a better position. Otherwise maybe we can resort to voodoo dolls to fuck the fuckers! HA! Just kidding.... >.>

Love you, soooo much chica rica! kiss biggrin tongue ARRR!!!

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