Let's just start this off by me saying that I am a horrible person.
I am a judgmental, prejudiced, snob of an awful person.
I am going to hell, I know this and I've accepted it.
It's other people who have problems with it.
"I'll pray for your soul!"
Thanks but go pray for someone who has an outside chance, ok?
I had to go to my kids Back to School Night last night.
First off, I hate going because though I value education I hate school and all the bullshit political crap that surrounds it.
SO I walk into the auditorium with an attitude.
I dress conservatively, mostly because I have a shitload of laundry to do and partly because I really didn't care enough put much effort into getting dressed THOUGH I did wear clothes purchased in this century and I combed my hair and brushed my teeth and applied makeup.
My kids school must be a friggin' black hole for
A. Women who have decided that they are married and have children so WHY GIVE A FUCK about the way they look. Sloppy doesn't even describe it. Slovenly fits the bill a bit better. Women of all shapes and sizes who have given up. You know the types, who say "I really don't care about what other people think about me so I wear what I want!" No, you wear what's handy. Wearing what you want means you have a personal style. I sat behind a woman who must have put a rubber band in her hair sometime back in 2001 and just left it there. I was mesmerized by the small rat's nest bobbing up and own in front of me I totally missed what the principal was saying about the mandatory state tests. Thanks rat hair lady and I mean that.
B. Woman who found their personal style sometime in their teens and have decided that at 40, it's still a good look for them. Dressing "young" doesn't mean wearing clothes you wore when you were 12 and for the love of god throw away the Aqua net.
C. Men who have tried to go for the full Guido but are really just sad imitations of what is in fact a sad fashion statement anyway.
This includes an entire subset of men who have worn their high waist skinny jeans for so long they're suddenly in style again rocking the Jonas Brothers look. (Wear do those Jonas brothers keep their penises because they are certainly not in those tight pants of theirs!)
D. Men who are still buying and wearing pleated front pants. Can we say "Penis Tent"?
E. Mullets
Yes, there where people who werenormal for all intents and purposes but normal in this town means
(and I am borrowing from Madvivking)
"Gas-guzzling SUV
Wide-screen TV with 1000+ channels
House with 2 more bedrooms than you have people actually living there
High paying job that doesn't actually produce anything of benefit
2.5 kids that spend 98% of their time indoors and get their values from MTV
A church that will forgive your moral vacuum in exchange for a suitable tithe
A love-less, sex-less marriage to someone you stopped talking to years ago"
I tried not to be distracted but all I could hear in my head, along with Satan's evil cackle was this song.
Add to that the super fantastic day I had yesterday.
I am a judgmental, prejudiced, snob of an awful person.
I am going to hell, I know this and I've accepted it.
It's other people who have problems with it.
"I'll pray for your soul!"
Thanks but go pray for someone who has an outside chance, ok?
I had to go to my kids Back to School Night last night.
First off, I hate going because though I value education I hate school and all the bullshit political crap that surrounds it.
SO I walk into the auditorium with an attitude.
I dress conservatively, mostly because I have a shitload of laundry to do and partly because I really didn't care enough put much effort into getting dressed THOUGH I did wear clothes purchased in this century and I combed my hair and brushed my teeth and applied makeup.
My kids school must be a friggin' black hole for
A. Women who have decided that they are married and have children so WHY GIVE A FUCK about the way they look. Sloppy doesn't even describe it. Slovenly fits the bill a bit better. Women of all shapes and sizes who have given up. You know the types, who say "I really don't care about what other people think about me so I wear what I want!" No, you wear what's handy. Wearing what you want means you have a personal style. I sat behind a woman who must have put a rubber band in her hair sometime back in 2001 and just left it there. I was mesmerized by the small rat's nest bobbing up and own in front of me I totally missed what the principal was saying about the mandatory state tests. Thanks rat hair lady and I mean that.
B. Woman who found their personal style sometime in their teens and have decided that at 40, it's still a good look for them. Dressing "young" doesn't mean wearing clothes you wore when you were 12 and for the love of god throw away the Aqua net.
C. Men who have tried to go for the full Guido but are really just sad imitations of what is in fact a sad fashion statement anyway.
This includes an entire subset of men who have worn their high waist skinny jeans for so long they're suddenly in style again rocking the Jonas Brothers look. (Wear do those Jonas brothers keep their penises because they are certainly not in those tight pants of theirs!)
D. Men who are still buying and wearing pleated front pants. Can we say "Penis Tent"?
E. Mullets
Yes, there where people who werenormal for all intents and purposes but normal in this town means
(and I am borrowing from Madvivking)
"Gas-guzzling SUV
Wide-screen TV with 1000+ channels
House with 2 more bedrooms than you have people actually living there
High paying job that doesn't actually produce anything of benefit
2.5 kids that spend 98% of their time indoors and get their values from MTV
A church that will forgive your moral vacuum in exchange for a suitable tithe
A love-less, sex-less marriage to someone you stopped talking to years ago"
I tried not to be distracted but all I could hear in my head, along with Satan's evil cackle was this song.
Add to that the super fantastic day I had yesterday.
I am at a total loss
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
And making shit loads of money doesn't make you happy. It only leads to spending large amounts of money to try and make yourself be happy.
Yes, they may mean you'll be happier because you won't be stressing over money. But trust me, doing something you don't want to do for 40 hours a week will kill you a little more every day.
The Real World is a vampire.
Hey!
I wear pleated pants! And look good in the also!
and in hell, we'll party with our pitchforks.