im feeling sorry for myself.
i have the worst mood-swings ever.
i have very bad taste in music.
my legs are about two inches to short to ever look really good, also perhaps a few shades to light.
my fingernails always look dirty no matter how many time i wash them.
im biased, and hardheaded.
im also not very interesting.
im very pick about what i eat, and its (as ive been told) always nasty stuff that i want.
i smoke to much.
i over credit my self as far as my looks go, i also over credit the value of good looks in the first place.
this keyboard sucks ass, the spacebar doesnt work for shit.
im most likely wrong about that though, im also told that this IS infact a very good keyboard.
i read to fast, im not stroking my own ego here, i actually read to fast.
i use a lot of tolitte paper.
i sing loud even when i dont sound good, and its not cute either it just sounds really bad.
ive had a complaint as far as my cuddleing goes.
i write on myself as though im still in highschool, but mostly its gibberish so it looks like i have some strange growth on my arm or leg or whatever.
i dont have any friends.
i sleep at bad times, and drink coffee right before i plan on going to sleep.
i steal, a lot, but i have morals about it!
i feel blank without someone to see me.
i shouldnt have listed that, im not sure if those are the right words.
i NEVER have the right words.
i have no chance in life, i will fail simply because im lazy and prideful, not for lack of ability or chance.
ive known this my whole life.
ive never made a true attempt to change it, i just figure things will take care of themselves.
i have grand plans and no follow through.
my poetry sucks ass.
anyone who has ever liked my photography must have been blind or horny.
that was a cheap personal attack, and perhaps not true.
im drifting from the point.
im useless, and wasteful while never putting back in.
i wish this summed it up.
i wish this was the worst.
i wish i could confess these things with shame.
i wish i could feel less shame at the lack of true faults listed above.
i wish i wasnt so easily distracted.
and so we return to mallorie's long romance with the song "creep".
im just a bitter and hateful as anyone i look down on. more-so perhaps.
im sorry.
im sorry for what i will be, for the sake of what has already been done.
im sorry for what was done in the name of hope and youth and a dream.
i console myself that it was dead already, and neither of us is to blame.
i honestly think it true.
the sad part is, who will read this and think it was written for them?
i do feel shame for that, mostly for my own foolishness, my own ability to fool myself long after the fact. perhaps my own ability to still hope. but also for the unknown lie i was telling, again i console myself that im not to blame seeing as i believed it too.
i think im done with this.
i have the worst mood-swings ever.
i have very bad taste in music.
my legs are about two inches to short to ever look really good, also perhaps a few shades to light.
my fingernails always look dirty no matter how many time i wash them.
im biased, and hardheaded.
im also not very interesting.
im very pick about what i eat, and its (as ive been told) always nasty stuff that i want.
i smoke to much.
i over credit my self as far as my looks go, i also over credit the value of good looks in the first place.
this keyboard sucks ass, the spacebar doesnt work for shit.
im most likely wrong about that though, im also told that this IS infact a very good keyboard.
i read to fast, im not stroking my own ego here, i actually read to fast.
i use a lot of tolitte paper.
i sing loud even when i dont sound good, and its not cute either it just sounds really bad.
ive had a complaint as far as my cuddleing goes.
i write on myself as though im still in highschool, but mostly its gibberish so it looks like i have some strange growth on my arm or leg or whatever.
i dont have any friends.
i sleep at bad times, and drink coffee right before i plan on going to sleep.
i steal, a lot, but i have morals about it!
i feel blank without someone to see me.
i shouldnt have listed that, im not sure if those are the right words.
i NEVER have the right words.
i have no chance in life, i will fail simply because im lazy and prideful, not for lack of ability or chance.
ive known this my whole life.
ive never made a true attempt to change it, i just figure things will take care of themselves.
i have grand plans and no follow through.
my poetry sucks ass.
anyone who has ever liked my photography must have been blind or horny.
that was a cheap personal attack, and perhaps not true.
im drifting from the point.
im useless, and wasteful while never putting back in.
i wish this summed it up.
i wish this was the worst.
i wish i could confess these things with shame.
i wish i could feel less shame at the lack of true faults listed above.
i wish i wasnt so easily distracted.
and so we return to mallorie's long romance with the song "creep".
im just a bitter and hateful as anyone i look down on. more-so perhaps.
im sorry.
im sorry for what i will be, for the sake of what has already been done.
im sorry for what was done in the name of hope and youth and a dream.
i console myself that it was dead already, and neither of us is to blame.
i honestly think it true.
the sad part is, who will read this and think it was written for them?
i do feel shame for that, mostly for my own foolishness, my own ability to fool myself long after the fact. perhaps my own ability to still hope. but also for the unknown lie i was telling, again i console myself that im not to blame seeing as i believed it too.
i think im done with this.