phedra

Yesterday on April 17, my beloved cat Resin died for unknown reasons. He was only two years old, and he was my baby.


As death loomes around me, my mind wonders trails not knowing where they will lead, not wanting to know. Things were lost leaving emptyness inside, closing my eyes, I walk on trying to keep the memories, memories that filled me before keeping me whole. How to recapture them eludes me making me stumble, I look behind and find only space, the trail I walked no longer there--memories lost
Feeling so alone amoung the people who pass, their laughter and joy falls upon confused ears no longer able to do the same--did I ever?
Already exhausted, I don't try to understand, alone always in a void now, I no longer care to relearn what I once had, so easy to just not feel. To keep going seems useless, I see nothing ahead therefore why should I keep on walking these trails that lead to no where? Eternity now stands still, I stare with empty eyes, turn away, close my eyes and welcome the void. I am no longer viable, no longer one of the strong. To much was put upon my shoulders and I fell. Now only demons of the past haunt me, only one last question leaves my lips..."why?"

-Adri