Hello, all. I'm back from my little suicide sabbatical. Hooray. *crickets*
I fucking hate the holidays. I'm not a Christian, and I don't give a shit about food or gifts (whatever I want to eat or play with, I get on my own- I'm THAT powerful). I also don't see the need to make a tradition out of uncomfortable evenings spent in tolerance of family I'd otherwise have no business with. Again, I am old enough and make enough money that I've evolved beyond the obligation to put up with anything I don't want to.
What really destroys me about the holidays is the disruption. There are a million tired assholes with crying twins on tethers clogging the malls like fatty plaques in Star Jones' heart, when all I want to do is get a haircut or pick up a new headphone adapter for my Treo 650. And if it's not the congestion and ruckus, it's the commercial hangover-coma the city enters for a couple days after the overconsumptive bender it's been on for the month previous. So now, instead of it taking two hours for me to run a handful of errands, I've gotta wait four or five fucking days for regular commerce to resume just because a secular holiday is being forced down everyone's throat. That's to say nothing of the horrible disruption to my regularly scheduled shows (people staying in, going to parties instead of the shows, bars cancelling for a few shows during the season). It's enough to make a white boy jihad.
Anyway, keep your carols, your cranberries in the shape of the can, and your goddamned giant novelty-sized Toblerone (by the way- the "festive special" with fucking Lindor? Are you kidding? Wake up Swiss Chalet- your festive special blows without Toblerone). Don't ask me what I want for Christmas because I've either already got what I want, or I'm making plans to have it sent to me. I don't want to be your Secret Santa and I'm not coming to your party. I'm going to be vacationing in either Vice City or beautiful San Andreas and I'm not coming back until I've killed everyone in one of those places, or someone else has killed everyone here.
Crappy Crolidays.
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PeteRockRadio Showtimes
Mondays - The Unicorn (SG madness)
Tuesdays - The Fox and Fiddle (I need your asses there)
Saturdays - The Fox and Fiddle (holidays are slow)
Grab your push-ups and get your asses out there. I'm tired of singing to myself.
I fucking hate the holidays. I'm not a Christian, and I don't give a shit about food or gifts (whatever I want to eat or play with, I get on my own- I'm THAT powerful). I also don't see the need to make a tradition out of uncomfortable evenings spent in tolerance of family I'd otherwise have no business with. Again, I am old enough and make enough money that I've evolved beyond the obligation to put up with anything I don't want to.
What really destroys me about the holidays is the disruption. There are a million tired assholes with crying twins on tethers clogging the malls like fatty plaques in Star Jones' heart, when all I want to do is get a haircut or pick up a new headphone adapter for my Treo 650. And if it's not the congestion and ruckus, it's the commercial hangover-coma the city enters for a couple days after the overconsumptive bender it's been on for the month previous. So now, instead of it taking two hours for me to run a handful of errands, I've gotta wait four or five fucking days for regular commerce to resume just because a secular holiday is being forced down everyone's throat. That's to say nothing of the horrible disruption to my regularly scheduled shows (people staying in, going to parties instead of the shows, bars cancelling for a few shows during the season). It's enough to make a white boy jihad.
Anyway, keep your carols, your cranberries in the shape of the can, and your goddamned giant novelty-sized Toblerone (by the way- the "festive special" with fucking Lindor? Are you kidding? Wake up Swiss Chalet- your festive special blows without Toblerone). Don't ask me what I want for Christmas because I've either already got what I want, or I'm making plans to have it sent to me. I don't want to be your Secret Santa and I'm not coming to your party. I'm going to be vacationing in either Vice City or beautiful San Andreas and I'm not coming back until I've killed everyone in one of those places, or someone else has killed everyone here.
Crappy Crolidays.
-------------------------------------
PeteRockRadio Showtimes
Mondays - The Unicorn (SG madness)
Tuesdays - The Fox and Fiddle (I need your asses there)
Saturdays - The Fox and Fiddle (holidays are slow)
Grab your push-ups and get your asses out there. I'm tired of singing to myself.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
swindy:
dirka dirka jihad ala derka derka......
peterockwell:
Ah!! Derka derka derka!