The Christmas party sucked fuck.
First of all PCH was detoured because of a parade or whatever in Belmont Shores. Suck.
Party was at the Hyatt in Long Beach. There were women walking around in floor length ballgowns with fur coats, in fact I think I was the only one not wearing a fur coat. I felt underdressed. And that my lips and boobs were smaller than all those botox and collagen filled women. Had to shake the required hands and then shuffle off and forget their names. The guy with the mushroom platter was stalking us. To the point where i would have been justified if I flipped his tray and told him to, "Fuck off!" Frequented the open bar. Dinner started an hour late and by that time I was ready to steal the eggroll tray and hide in the bathroom, stuffing my face.
No one sat at our table.
I must have massive social disease. They seated us then served us some yucky bread bowl with cheese soup inside, then asked us to sing along to Frosty the Snowman. Yeah, good idea.
After eating my steak and lobster i was ready to high-tail it out of there with a couple of free beers in my purse.
Went out on the balcony to smoke. And some important cheesy looking guy came over with his bobble headed fiance in her fur coat (of course). I was introduced and quickly forgotten about until I made a private joke to Lipton about the stalker, mushroom guy. The couple overhear mushrooms and say, "Wow, aren't the mushrooms here are fan-tas-tic!"
I should have known better than to explain to them that the mushroom guy would not leave us alone and that saying , "We didn't want any mushrooms 5 minutes ago, we don't want any mushrooms now, and we won't be wanting any mushrooms 5 minutes from now either." does not help. They looked at everything but me while I told the story. Maybe i was slurring.
Maybe no one sat next to us becasue they heard overheard us playing the Word Association game.
Left around 9:30pm I could not stay any longer.
Went home and made Lipton watch the Hugabunch Kids Movie with me. It's some odd puppet movie from my youth that can't be found anywhere, I know, i've checked.
The best part of my night befor the party, hanging out with Ann and Kenny, waiting for Lipton to pick me up. Ann busted out all the notes her friends had written her from highschool. I was the only one who could read them without laughing too badly. But it was painfully embarrassing when we happened upon one of the notes I had written. It wasn't that I was a dork, it was that I was scary, angry and wanted to kill everyone. Wow, I'm nicer now.
Some little old lady at the party called me a "Knock out," she probably says that to all the girls.
Song of the day: The Rondelles - "Angels We Have Heard on High"
First of all PCH was detoured because of a parade or whatever in Belmont Shores. Suck.
Party was at the Hyatt in Long Beach. There were women walking around in floor length ballgowns with fur coats, in fact I think I was the only one not wearing a fur coat. I felt underdressed. And that my lips and boobs were smaller than all those botox and collagen filled women. Had to shake the required hands and then shuffle off and forget their names. The guy with the mushroom platter was stalking us. To the point where i would have been justified if I flipped his tray and told him to, "Fuck off!" Frequented the open bar. Dinner started an hour late and by that time I was ready to steal the eggroll tray and hide in the bathroom, stuffing my face.
No one sat at our table.
I must have massive social disease. They seated us then served us some yucky bread bowl with cheese soup inside, then asked us to sing along to Frosty the Snowman. Yeah, good idea.
After eating my steak and lobster i was ready to high-tail it out of there with a couple of free beers in my purse.
Went out on the balcony to smoke. And some important cheesy looking guy came over with his bobble headed fiance in her fur coat (of course). I was introduced and quickly forgotten about until I made a private joke to Lipton about the stalker, mushroom guy. The couple overhear mushrooms and say, "Wow, aren't the mushrooms here are fan-tas-tic!"
I should have known better than to explain to them that the mushroom guy would not leave us alone and that saying , "We didn't want any mushrooms 5 minutes ago, we don't want any mushrooms now, and we won't be wanting any mushrooms 5 minutes from now either." does not help. They looked at everything but me while I told the story. Maybe i was slurring.
Maybe no one sat next to us becasue they heard overheard us playing the Word Association game.
Left around 9:30pm I could not stay any longer.
Went home and made Lipton watch the Hugabunch Kids Movie with me. It's some odd puppet movie from my youth that can't be found anywhere, I know, i've checked.
The best part of my night befor the party, hanging out with Ann and Kenny, waiting for Lipton to pick me up. Ann busted out all the notes her friends had written her from highschool. I was the only one who could read them without laughing too badly. But it was painfully embarrassing when we happened upon one of the notes I had written. It wasn't that I was a dork, it was that I was scary, angry and wanted to kill everyone. Wow, I'm nicer now.
Some little old lady at the party called me a "Knock out," she probably says that to all the girls.
Song of the day: The Rondelles - "Angels We Have Heard on High"
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kirin_ka:
Wow that is awesome. That was almost as cool as my night.
broadwaybee:
*hungover*