Kareoke last night at this place in Long Beach called The Rib. I betrayed my own kareoke bar.
The place was crawling with screaming, drunken Cosmo Girls, they're all Carrie's friends. It's odd to see so many girls in one place who all have two toned hair.
I was Designated Dave because my friends all said if they drank they would sing.
None of the fuckers sang.
We put in a song for them and when it came to it they said they were too drunk.
I'm feeling like a performing monkey.
Drunken Cosmo girls sang:
Dixie Chicks
Joan Jett ,"I love Rock and Roll"
and Grease
Old people sang:
Patsy Cline
Fleetwood Mac
"Reunited"
and this awful song called "Mona Lisa"
Please do the whole world a favor and do not sing a slow or a sad song for kareoke. Kareoke's supposed to be fun not a showcase for your weepy ass. And it's embarrassing to watch.
It was this little girl's birthday she looked about 12. Kenny stole her Spongebob Calendar off of her table and started writing birthdays and shit in it. When we left he gave it to Carrie who was too drunk to even notice she was holdng a calendar. Some huge mexican girl walks up to Carrie, ready to beat her ass and says that's her "Homegirl's" calendar.
Carrie through eyes half open slurs that "Someone
gave it to her." she handed to the behemoth and she snatched it back. Good thing we got out of there when we did becasue Gordita there made the assumption that we stole money from her and was causing a scene. Oh well.
Horrible, horrible night. I had no fun.
My day is going to be awesome now because Unravled brought me lunch at work. She knows all my dirty secrets now. Now she just needs to meet my mom.
She supplies me with all the Alfredo sauce my heart desires.
What have you done for me lately?
The place was crawling with screaming, drunken Cosmo Girls, they're all Carrie's friends. It's odd to see so many girls in one place who all have two toned hair.
I was Designated Dave because my friends all said if they drank they would sing.
None of the fuckers sang.
We put in a song for them and when it came to it they said they were too drunk.
I'm feeling like a performing monkey.
Drunken Cosmo girls sang:
Dixie Chicks
Joan Jett ,"I love Rock and Roll"
and Grease
Old people sang:
Patsy Cline
Fleetwood Mac
"Reunited"
and this awful song called "Mona Lisa"
Please do the whole world a favor and do not sing a slow or a sad song for kareoke. Kareoke's supposed to be fun not a showcase for your weepy ass. And it's embarrassing to watch.
It was this little girl's birthday she looked about 12. Kenny stole her Spongebob Calendar off of her table and started writing birthdays and shit in it. When we left he gave it to Carrie who was too drunk to even notice she was holdng a calendar. Some huge mexican girl walks up to Carrie, ready to beat her ass and says that's her "Homegirl's" calendar.
Carrie through eyes half open slurs that "Someone
gave it to her." she handed to the behemoth and she snatched it back. Good thing we got out of there when we did becasue Gordita there made the assumption that we stole money from her and was causing a scene. Oh well.
Horrible, horrible night. I had no fun.
My day is going to be awesome now because Unravled brought me lunch at work. She knows all my dirty secrets now. Now she just needs to meet my mom.
She supplies me with all the Alfredo sauce my heart desires.
What have you done for me lately?
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
tiberius:
If you're not Nat King Cole, you have no business going anywhere near Mona Lisa...
unravled:
Take my hand and we'll make, I swear.