I am currently thinking up band names for my friend. I've referred to the "If you had a band what would it be called" thread but it feels like I'm robbing people. If you have any suggestions, I'm open, really, their name sucks. I'm going to a high school hotel party tonight. Oh lord, what has my life come to? Maybe I'll meet some cute cheerleaders, and fuck them.
My mom's dog got stung in the nose by a bee. It's whole face was swollen and it's skin stated to bubble. I stayed at the vet with my mom for 2 hours. It seemed a lot longer when there's nothing to read but Cat Fancy and Dog Whatever. Dog all better, $300 later just to give it some fucking benadryl. The vet makes $100 each hour it keeps your dog. Thats outrageous but the owners there looked like they would've payed a lot more to save their poor "Miffy" the Shitzu with it's hair pulled into a ponytail with a pink bow. I learned something new. When you're stung by a bee, the stinger coils inside your skin. Mom says she pulled one out that "Was this big" (holds her fingers about 10 inches apart). Thats pretty impressive. "But you have to pull it out with two credit cards" because it could break off if pull it with your fingers or squeeze out more venom. Anyways this is what my mom says and she's highly allergic to bees so Ima gonna listen to her. Never been stung though, so I don't know if I'm allergic. Poor mom she's allergic to so much stuff, here's a few : Salt water, chlorine, bee stings, eucalyptus, penecillin, wool there are too many more and waht sucks is that I'm probably going to be allergic to the same shit when I get older. Damn you mom and your shitty genes.
Got a hair cut
Got a cell phone.
Watched Stepford Wives, for the love of man kind do NOT see this movie.
Made mom see Love Actually.
My advice to you is not to eat KFC iif you've been drinking all night.
Brother came over he's sad because his friend just died and the parents won't let any of his friends go to the funeral. He was telling me about the last time he saw him before he died. They were drinking and smoking at Butterfly Park and his friend said he had to take a poo. So he goes off and comes back with a poo on a stick and he chases them with it. Then things settled down and they went back to drinking and when they get up to leave the guy reaches down grabs the poo stick and throws it at my brother. Landing on his shoe.
My brother says "Man, I was gonna get him back for that."
Speaking of poo. I don't have a kitchen right now. The sink is in the garage. The cupboards are gone. We wash dishes in the bathroom. The food is in the towel cupboard. Anyways sister makes coffee and plugs it in in the bathroom. Brother comes over and takes a poo in the bathroom before my sister can save the coffee. So we drank poo coffee this morning.
Oh wait let me further revolt you with another tale.
My brother's friend is a chef , you know the ones that cook where the grill is right in front of you. Some drunk kid puked right onto the grill and the puke began to cook, sending the sweet aroma through out the restaurant. Causing a chain reaction of people running out of the restaurant gagging and puking. Delightful.
I found a way to partially remove hickeys to the point where you can pass it off as, "I dunno. A scratch or something?" I have this Vitamin E lip buffing stick with shards of apricot shell in it. I sloughed off a couple layers of skin with it.
Fuck you very much.
I am not proof reading all that. goodnight.
My mom's dog got stung in the nose by a bee. It's whole face was swollen and it's skin stated to bubble. I stayed at the vet with my mom for 2 hours. It seemed a lot longer when there's nothing to read but Cat Fancy and Dog Whatever. Dog all better, $300 later just to give it some fucking benadryl. The vet makes $100 each hour it keeps your dog. Thats outrageous but the owners there looked like they would've payed a lot more to save their poor "Miffy" the Shitzu with it's hair pulled into a ponytail with a pink bow. I learned something new. When you're stung by a bee, the stinger coils inside your skin. Mom says she pulled one out that "Was this big" (holds her fingers about 10 inches apart). Thats pretty impressive. "But you have to pull it out with two credit cards" because it could break off if pull it with your fingers or squeeze out more venom. Anyways this is what my mom says and she's highly allergic to bees so Ima gonna listen to her. Never been stung though, so I don't know if I'm allergic. Poor mom she's allergic to so much stuff, here's a few : Salt water, chlorine, bee stings, eucalyptus, penecillin, wool there are too many more and waht sucks is that I'm probably going to be allergic to the same shit when I get older. Damn you mom and your shitty genes.
Got a hair cut
Got a cell phone.
Watched Stepford Wives, for the love of man kind do NOT see this movie.
Made mom see Love Actually.
My advice to you is not to eat KFC iif you've been drinking all night.
Brother came over he's sad because his friend just died and the parents won't let any of his friends go to the funeral. He was telling me about the last time he saw him before he died. They were drinking and smoking at Butterfly Park and his friend said he had to take a poo. So he goes off and comes back with a poo on a stick and he chases them with it. Then things settled down and they went back to drinking and when they get up to leave the guy reaches down grabs the poo stick and throws it at my brother. Landing on his shoe.
My brother says "Man, I was gonna get him back for that."
Speaking of poo. I don't have a kitchen right now. The sink is in the garage. The cupboards are gone. We wash dishes in the bathroom. The food is in the towel cupboard. Anyways sister makes coffee and plugs it in in the bathroom. Brother comes over and takes a poo in the bathroom before my sister can save the coffee. So we drank poo coffee this morning.
Oh wait let me further revolt you with another tale.
My brother's friend is a chef , you know the ones that cook where the grill is right in front of you. Some drunk kid puked right onto the grill and the puke began to cook, sending the sweet aroma through out the restaurant. Causing a chain reaction of people running out of the restaurant gagging and puking. Delightful.
I found a way to partially remove hickeys to the point where you can pass it off as, "I dunno. A scratch or something?" I have this Vitamin E lip buffing stick with shards of apricot shell in it. I sloughed off a couple layers of skin with it.
Fuck you very much.
I am not proof reading all that. goodnight.
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Hickeys?
BAND NAME: Teenage Cameltoe
CONTEST OVER!
only a couple more days and baw-chicka-bow-wow.