perhapsevil

I went to go see my grandma today. She's so tiny. My mom told me to leave my nose ring in and freak her out, but she didn't say a word about it. My aunt, however, made a big deal about it.

"Why'd you do that?"
"For attention"
"Didn't that hurt"
"Yeah, alot." (while smiling)

Then she showed me off to all the neighbors.

"Look this is my neice isn't she beautiful? Take off your glasses let them see your eyes."

Then the neighbors say:

"I remember you when you were this big." (Holds hand waist high)

Then my uncle told me a story about when my mom was 3 years old and their cat scratched her eye. All he could see was blood spurting out of her eye so he thought the cat tore it out. He grabbed the cat by the tail and he swung it around, he was going to let it go, but the cat when flying over the fence leaving my Uncle with a twitching tail. The cat never came back.

Another story my Uncle told me was that when he was little, he used to tame animals. He had pet tarantulas, a pet fox, and pet possums. Well, with the possums, he tought them to hang upside down by their tails from the handle bars on his beach cruiser. Then he'd ride his bike around thinking he was hot shit.

That be it.

No rest for the wicked.