perhapsevil

I was feeling sad because James never has anytime to spend with me, only on the weekends. I work weekends so this isn't working out too well. Ann talked to daniel and he said james wants to get me a valentines day gift but he doesn't have any money, so he's going to steal a lobster and make me dinner. That is both the sweetest and funniest thing ever. I'm glad ann told me becasue I was feeling depressed. I'm just trying to hold up for the weekend, aaron's having parties friday and saturday and ann and I are going to the rodeo saturday night. I don't go to parties, even in highschool I seldom went becasue I didn't know the "cool people" who threw parties. Aaron's are different though becasue I know people. I have this totally different side when I'm around his friends, I play the bitch becasue that's what they expect of me. It amuses me... I'm looking forward to seeing seth, I regret being an asshole to him, he liked me a lot and it freaked me out. He reminds me of Hyde on that 70's show, I think of him everytime I watch that show. It seems like we should have ended up together considering we were the biggest assholes anyone ever knew. Someone commented that if we had children they would be "hell-spawn with batwings." I like that. He's actually lost a lot of weight, he's going to marines, that never mattered to me though, it was all about those eyes, always so intense. Now that he's leaving I want to do him because I'll have an excuse to love him and leave him. Before I knew he would only get hurt because I can't love him, not long term anyways. We'll see how it goes. For tomorrow night it's booze, porno, bb guns and trampoline fun. Ooh and if we invite Amber there will be lap dances for all!