perhapsevil

James called me last night and I'm so confused. It seems he wants me but only when it's convenient for him and I have to decide whether or not I want to be his puppy. I'm so sick with myself, but I'm going to see how this works out. I'm so dumb. I just don't think right when it comes to him, I've never felt this way about anyone and I hate myself for it. Uh now that that's out of the way last night Ann, Kelly, Jeff and I went to go see sticky fingers, a rolling stones cover band at hogue barmichaels. None of us have ever been there and I wish I would have known beforehand what it was going to be like. The first band that played was a highschool band with their families watching them little kids included. Weird. so after that band plays the place is pretty much empty except for this blonde-curly-haired dude wearing a maroon blazer, with a camouflage shirt and bell bottom jeans who was rocking out to the highschool band and now he's checking me out because strangely I am the hottest chick in the bar besides ann, but he's totally oblivious to her. Maybe it was the see thru shirt i was wearing. So anyways who does this guy think he is robert plant. He comes up to our group but he's only talking to me asking if we were going to stay and watchihis band and we're like "Are you sticky fingers" and he laughs and asks if he looks like he's in a rolling stones cover band. Well I don't know I've never seen one. Sticky fingers plays after his band so we tell him yeah since that's who we came here to see. So their band plays and they're good, they're really intense but it's just not our style, too dave matthews. So we get up and leave and I swear the curly dude falshed me a look that said "I thought you said you were going to stay" oh well, lead singers are nothing but trouble. Oh, forgot to mention that Kelly was and always will be the loudest person in the bar, jeff went to the bathroom and could hear her laughing from inside. So she suggest that we go to hamburger mary's in long beach becasue gay people go there and she saw a guy in cooch cutter shorts and a short top and was amazed his dong wasn't hanging out. So I want to go check out the ladies ann wants to check out the gay guys. But jeff doesn't want to go because I mentioned that ariel got fondled at the last gay club we went to. He's like "man I don't want to get into any fights tonight" We told him we'd help him find a sugar daddy and he said ok. But half way there Ann decides it's late and she doesn't want to drive all the way out there and then back home again and she's hungry. All right we'll go another night. We go to Inn N Out and we're sitting there eating and ann yells "what is that lady doing." and we look in the car in the drive thru and there's a lady with her head in the driver's lap. Or so we thought, jeff said it was one of those things that people put in the passenger seat so they can go in the carpool lane, but then why was the guys arm around it I dunno that was weird he probably just does that to freak people out. So after that I'm super tired and ann decidesm we're going to starbucks and I can barely keep my eyes open. So that wasn't much fun. But the boy who looks like a hobbit was working he has such pinchable cheeks. Ann tells me that Randy and his wife got a divorce. Randy's this adorable guy and for one drunken night he thought I was beautiful, no one had ever called me beautiful before. I saw him one more time, then I never saw him again but I found out he had an online journal and I check in on him every once in a while, all stalker like and I find out he got married. Oh well it's just a stupid crush and there's nothing I'm going to do about it especially since he's been married. That's intimidating. So tonight I'm going ice skating. It was going to be just me and james but ann convinced me i didn't want to do that cuz it wouldn't be any fun and that her and kelly should come along. I just think that she likes james a lot too and wants to hang out, also daniel's gone for the weekend. So then they thought it would be a good idea to go to hamburger mary's afterwards and freak james out. So that's the plan stan and I am out becasue suddenly I am curious if Randy's journal has any updates.