Man, I wish I had a house.
I was decorating for Halloween today, and I can only use about a quarter of my stuff because I don't want to take over the living room, since that is where Marry sleeps.
And, I NEED a garden sooooooo bad.
Ugh, I feel like crying. I miss gardening and yardwork, and I have no motivation to get my reel mower rust-free, painted, and in working order.....I've had it for two years now. The frame is ready to be painted, but I need to get the wheels, and blades rid of rust and sharpened.
Ugh, where is my life going? I want to do so many things, but I need more time! Right now I am so, so happy with Michale, but I don't think he would wait around for me to go to Africa or Mongolia (and I don't think he would dig joining the Peace Corps with me...hahahaha! I couldn't see him doing that for one second, maybe Habitat for Humanity, but not Peace Corps, working with animals, or even Americorps). god, I don't even think he would stick with me if I went away for college
My god, I'm fucking cring......ugh, I need to talk to him about all this. He doesn't even know I want to go away for who knows how long. Four years...at least, for school and Peace Corps. Man, the way things are going I won't be able to get a house or have kids until I'm 27 or 28
It makes me so sad, to think that I have met someone who I truly adore, but doing what will make me happiest might cause me to lose him.
Shit, this is hard.
I guess I should take it one step at a time, huh? I'm not even in school yet, and I will go to the local community college to get the rest of my basic requirements taken care of. With any luck, I'll be back in school this time next year, working on Mid-terms. Just thinking about that makes me really happy. I miss books, papers, tests, learning, and being around people who want to talk about science and current events and things like that.
I think I need this......that would make me happy, taking care of it, and having some sweet plants about the shitty apartment I live in right now.
![](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/ph-508.604ed20cffa9.gif)
![frown](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/frown.cec081026989.gif)
![frown](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/frown.cec081026989.gif)
And, I NEED a garden sooooooo bad.
![frown](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/frown.cec081026989.gif)
Ugh, where is my life going? I want to do so many things, but I need more time! Right now I am so, so happy with Michale, but I don't think he would wait around for me to go to Africa or Mongolia (and I don't think he would dig joining the Peace Corps with me...hahahaha! I couldn't see him doing that for one second, maybe Habitat for Humanity, but not Peace Corps, working with animals, or even Americorps). god, I don't even think he would stick with me if I went away for college
![frown](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/frown.cec081026989.gif)
![frown](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/frown.cec081026989.gif)
![frown](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/frown.cec081026989.gif)
I guess I should take it one step at a time, huh? I'm not even in school yet, and I will go to the local community college to get the rest of my basic requirements taken care of. With any luck, I'll be back in school this time next year, working on Mid-terms. Just thinking about that makes me really happy. I miss books, papers, tests, learning, and being around people who want to talk about science and current events and things like that.
I think I need this......that would make me happy, taking care of it, and having some sweet plants about the shitty apartment I live in right now.
![](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/ph-508.604ed20cffa9.gif)