pennycandy

"Your new profile picture is pretty." He told me last night on the phone.

".................Thank you." I reply, weepy and sad.

"....You're always pretty though, aren't you?"

I burst into tears and say "No...." My voice completely consumed with sadness.

I can hear the emotion in his voice as he says "Why are you crying? Don't be sad, there is enough sad going around. You don't need to be sad babe. Why are you crying?"

I tell him I don't know. Then "This whole situation just fucking sucks......"

I'm so over being wrong about him, all the time, it has to hurt him. I don't go easy on him either......my poor, poor boy. I'm evil.



He's tring to comfort me, while he is losing his dad.......what the fuck? I'm crazy. I am so damn needy, and that DAMN Aries in me is way too jealous......of his friends, the guys he grew up with. Ugh, I'm stupid. I don't want to cause him anymore pain or worry, but I'm not doing a good job of that.

I suck big time.

Also, I'm sick again. Got another prescription.....which they are hoping will work. Only three pills, and it is costing me $50! Ugh, I need my insurance back....how does it just get canceled? The payment comes directly out of my pay check, so it isn't like I was behind on payments......WTF!! If I don't get better, I have to go back so they can run blood test and whatever else. Fucking fun. I've missed so much work (three days in the past three weeks) from being sick. Yeah, I've got a doctor's note, but damn, why can't they tell me what's wrong with me!!! I can't afford this shit.

Ugh

Oh yeah, my "personal" section is gone on my profile!!!! Grrrrr.....why? Bring it back, I don't feel the need to fill all that shit in again!